Quotes by Jim Butcher

If I was on the road to Hell, at least I was going in style.

In the action business, when you dont want to say you ran like a mouse, you call it taking cover. Its more heroic.

Put some clothes on, you weird, yellow-eyed, table-dancing, werewolf-training, cryptic, stare-me-right-in-the-eyes-and-dont-even-blink wench.

Im amazing and studly, but I have limits.

Hells bells, irony blows.

Im so pretty, its hard for me to think of myself as intelligent.

Youre such a cynic, Molly said.I think cynics are playful and cute.

- Did you really save the world ?...- Mostly I was saving my own ass. Just happend that the world was in the same spot.

I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland.

Beside me, Molly rolled her shoulders in a few jerky motions and pushed at her hair in fitful little gestures. She tugged at her well-tattered skirts, and grimaced at her boots. Can you see if there’s any mud on them? I paused to consider her for a second. Then I said, You have two tattoos showing right now, and you probably used a fake ID to get them. Your piercings would set off any metal detector worth the name, and you’re featuring them in parts of your anatomy your parents wish you didn’t yet realize you had. You’re dressed like Frankenhooker, and your hair has been dyed colors I previously thought existed only in cotton candy.” I turned to face the door again. “I wouldn’t waste time worrying about a little mud on the boots.

Da. This is going very well already.Thomas barked out a laugh. There are seven of us against the Red King and his thirteen most powerful nobles, and its going well?Mouse sneezed.Eight, Thomas corrected himself. He rolled his eyes and said, And the psycho death faerie makes it nine.It is like movie, Sanya said, nodding. Dibs on Legolas.Are you kidding? Thomas said. Im obviously Legolas. Youre . . . He squinted thoughtfully at Sanya and then at Martin. Well. Hes Boromir and youre clearly Aragorn.Martin is so dour, he is more like Gimli. Sanya pointed at Susan. Her sword is much more like Aragorns.Aragorn wishes he looked that good, countered Thomas.What about Karrin? Sanya asked.What--for Gimli? Thomas mused. She is fairly--Finish that sentence, Raith, and we throw down, said Murphy in a calm, level voice.Tough, Thomas said, his expression aggrieved. I was going to say tough. As the discussion went on--with Mollys sponsorship, Mouse was lobbying to claim Gimli on the basis of being the shortest, the stoutest, and the hairiest--Sanya, I said. Who did I get cast as?Sam, Sanya said.I blinked at him. Not . . . Oh, for crying out loud, it was perfectly obvious who I should have been.Sanya shrugged. It was no contest. They gave Gandalf to your godmother. You got Sam.

Heroism doesnt pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up.

A succubus on the set. Strike that, the health-conscious kid sister made it two… succubuses. Succubusees? Succubi? Stupid Latin correspondence course.

I realized then what had happened.She had turned us--all of us, except for Mouse--into great, gaunt, long-legged hounds.Wonderful! Lea said, pirouetting upon one toe, laughing. Come, children! And she leapt off into the jungle, nimble and swift as a doe.A bunch of us dogs stood around for a moment, just sort of staring at one another..

Black Court vampires. I just shortened it some.Ebenezar tsked. Blampires. Thats the problem with you young people. Shortening all the words.

Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity.

See? This is why Im not religious. I couldnt possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else.

There was a sound like a human yawn, and then the skull turned slightly toward me and asked, Whats up, boss?Evils afoot.Well, sure, Bob said, because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise itd be up to a meter by now.

Home is where, when you go there and tell people to get out, they have to leave.

I have nightmares about hell, where all I do is add up numbers and try to have conversations with people like you.