Quotes by Jeff Lindsay

And as always seems to happen when I have reached the point where I am ready to take decisive action, everything began to happen at once.

I think thats nice, and if I could have feelings at all I would have them for Deb.

A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me.

Since I am not actually a real human being, my emotional responses are generally limited to what I have learned to fake.

For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a very small and helpless human-being.

I had become a perfect fake human, saying the stupid and pointless things that humans say to each other all day long.

It was clear to me that it wouldnt matter what I did - they would never truly appreciate me or learn what I had to offer. They were far beyond fickle - they were insensible, like kittens,predatory little things, distracted by the first bit of string or shiny bauble that rolled across the floor, and nothing I could ever say or do could possibly make any kind of dent in their willful ignorance.

It really is better to be lucky than to be good.

Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch?

Was insanity really easier to accept than unconsciousness?

In my life long study of human beings, I have found that no matter how hard they try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workday lives of meaningless toin and suffering.

Feeling - what authentic human fun!

Rectory always sounded to me like a place you would find a proctologist.

It took me a moment. I blinked, and suddenly it swam into focus and I had to frown very hard to keep myself from giggling out loud like the schoolgirl Deb had accused me of being. Because he had arranged the arms and legs in letters, and the letters spelled out a single small word: BOO. The three torsos were carefully arranged below the BOO in a quarter-circle, making a cute little Halloween smile. What a scamp.

In its own way the kiss had been an act of murder.

What, in all very seriousness, the hell was going on?

Really now: If you cant get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?

It was almost enough to make me feel emotion.

Whatever made me the way I am left me hollow, empty inside, unable to feel. It doesnt seem like a big deal.

Its always me, isnt it? Im not really a very nice person, but for some reason its always me that they come to with their problems.