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Quotes by Jay London

“My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.”

Jay London

“I went to an audition the other day, they were casting 13 people to be clouds, 14 people showed up, it was overcast.”

Jay London

“I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.”

Jay London

“I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.”

Jay London

“I had a very lonely New Years this year, I had to watch my own balls drop.”

Jay London

“I dont need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.”

Jay London

“My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.”

Jay London

“It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.”

Jay London

“I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.”

Jay London

“You know what burns me? Matches.”

Jay London

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

Jay London

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we cant say cheese.

Jay London

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

Jay London

I saw a stationery store move.

Jay London

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

Jay London

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

Jay London

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight Im watching the highlights.

Jay London

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

Jay London

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

Jay London