Quotes by Jane Wagner

“When we talk to God, were praying. When God talks to us, were schizophrenic.”

“I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.”

“Our ability to delude ourselves may be an important survival tool.”

“Now we are celebrating all generations at this event. There is something for everyone. You dont need to have kids to come to this.”

“The idea is for students to learn about the human milestones from birth to the aging.”

“Its helping students learn whats required to be successful in human services careers.”

I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.

My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, it’s absurdity dressed up in a three-piece business suit.

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.

Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death. -General Omar N. Bradley This morning I threw up at a board meeting. I was sure the cat was out of the bag but no one seemed to think anything about it apparently its quite common for people to throw up at board meetings.

A sobering thought: what if right at this very moment I am living up to my full potential?

Did I tell you what happened at the play? We were at the back of the theatre, standing there in the dark, when all of a sudden I feel one of em tug at my sleeve, whispers, Trudy look! I said, Yeah, goosebumps. You definitely got goosebumps. You like the play that much? They said it wasnt the play that gave em goosebumps, it was the audience!Id forgot to tell them to watch the play; theyd been watching the audience! Yeah, to see a group of people sitting together in the dark, laughing and crying at the same things...well that just knocked em out! They said, Trudy, the play was soup, the audience, art.So theyre taking goosbumps back with em into space. Goosebumps! Quite a souvenir. I like to think of them out there in the dark, watching us. Sometimes well do something and theyll laugh. Sometimes well do something and theyll cry. And maybe, one day well do something so magnificent, the whole universe will get goosebumps.

When we talk to God, were praying. When God talks to us, were schizophrenic.

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.