Quotes by James Castleton

Happiness is the sense that my life is good because my biological needs are being met. Meaning is the sense that my life is significant because it has met the needs of another. Happiness bestows the feeling that I am whole. Meaning bestows the feeling that I matter and am valued. Happiness is an event, and meaning is a state. Happiness is the means to an end; meaning is an end in itself. Happiness fades; meaning accumulates.

Because I did not understand the difference between meaning and happiness, I did not appreciate that life could be meaningful without being happy. I didn’t understand that meaning and happiness are occasionally opposed, such that the self-sacrifice that yields meaning may come at the cost of the very things on which happiness most depends. I erroneously assumed that if I were unhappy then my life lacked significance.

Thoroughly selfish individuals can be entirely happy. They will be unlikely to find life very meaningful. To such individuals, meaning often seems accidental, coincidental, or tangential … The reason this is so is that selfish people will find life meaningful only when they are not themselves; when they forget their selfish desires and act in a manner more consistent with agape (selfless love). Meaning seems accidental, coincidental or tangential to their lives because, by and large, selflessness is accidental, coincidental and tangential to their lives. There is nothing unpredictable about meaning, only the presence of selflessness in the life of a selfish person.

The major dilemma in life arises when it is assumed that meaning is simply a greater degree of happiness, such that the more one indulges physiological needs, the more likely it is that life will be experienced as meaningful.

Happiness is true, even though it fades, and meaning is also true, despite the fact that it endures. Those experiences that define what it most means to be human are true not because they endure, they are true because they are meaningful. Being human is not about being happy, not because happiness fades, but because the apex of the human experience is not happiness but meaning. Meaning endures not because it is true but because it is not dependent on circumstance. Happiness is transient not because it is false but precisely because it is dependent on circumstance. Each emotional experience is true in its proper domain. What makes one fleeting and the other lasting is not truth but the fact that one belongs to the temporal and the other to the eternal.

Happiness fades by design, precisely because it’s a means to an end, not an end in itself. We continually need to meet our psychological, emotional, and physical needs to remain healthy. If one meal were enough to provide lasting happiness, we would slowly starve to death afterward … Consequently, there’s a limit to our happiness, which is defined by the amount required to satisfy a biological need. Exceed this amount, and the result isn’t more happiness but the discomfort and disease that follow from overindulgence. While some may be good, more isn’t necessarily better, and too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.

I pray for insight where the path is veiled, fortitude where the obstacles appear insurmountable, endurance where the destination seems unattainable, and equanimity when all that remains is to accept the journey.

The question is not whether our life is purposeful, but whether that purpose leads to a hope which is proper to our nature as human beings, for only then will life be meaningful.

The journey to faith is the most marvelous and sobering of all journeys, for the transformation of one’s heart transforms the questions one asks, the values one holds, the world one perceives, and the life one lives.

Faith is about what we know, not what we feel. Yet, what we know will influence and direct what we feel. A strong knowledge of God will yield feelings of confidence in Him.

Natural lovers remain committed to the circumstances of their marriage as long as it continues to work for them. Because persons of faith remain committed to their marriage, regardless of circumstances, it continues to work for them.

Love may be the most excellent way, but it is also a difficult path to follow and one on which we will most assuredly stumble and fall. If we are not to lose our way, Humility must be our guide, and if we are to surmount disappointment and regain our footing, Forgiveness must be our porter.

Great hardship always seems to be the prerequisite to meaningful spiritual growth.

Too many seek the “good” life, whereas only a life of meaning will satisfy the existential ache within our breasts that begs the question of why we are here, what we are to do with this life, and according to what principles we are to live. This is a question best answered at the beginning, not at the end, of our lives, for the answer will determine not only the direction of our lives but also whether we will die in comfort and peace or in hopelessness and despair.

There is not a “true” happiness and a “false” happiness. Only happiness and meaning. The key to happiness is to realize that it is not the same thing as meaning.  The key to meaning is to realize that it is to be found neither in the pursuit, nor in the denial, of happiness. Happiness speaks to our health, meaning to our hope. The former provides for the necessities of life, the latter a reason for living… Happiness is the consequence of properly loving ourselves. Meaning is the consequence of loving others as ourselves.

The journey to faith begins in a yearning for meaning and ends in love. Love is born out of the gratitude of a heart broken over its own sin and mended by grace. I would wish for a heart so broken that my gratitude, and therefore my love, would know no limits.

God will spare no pains necessary to bring us into relationship with Himself, even as that may mean permitting whatever pain is necessary to do so. Suffering is the grist by which the mill of faith yields the raw material of new character, greater insight and deeper relationship with God.

God is not indifferent to suffering. In suffering He created us knowing, in the moment of creation, the necessity of the crucifixion. Christ suffered that we might have confidence that God understands our suffering. In suffering, God reconciled His beloved to Himself. In suffering, He makes us like Himself …

The measure of a man’s character may be the manner in which he treats the one who can do him no good, but the measure of his heart is the manner in which he loves the one who has hurt him. He who is unloving in his pain was never really loving in his happiness.

The measure of a man consists less in his present perfection than in his willingness to be perfected. A man will be remembered most, not for his accomplishments, but for his character.