Quotes by J.D. Salinger

“The thing is, its really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs--if yours are really good ones and theirs arent. You think if theyre intelligent and all, the other person, and have a good sense of humor, that they dont give a damn whose suitcases are better, but they do. They really do.”

“All these angels start coming out of the boxes and everywhere, guys carrying crucifixes and stuff all over the place, and the whole bunch of them - thousands of them - singing “Come All Ye Faithful” like mad. Big deal. It’s supposed to be religious as hell, I know, and very pretty and all, but I can’t see anything religious or pretty, for God’s sake, about a bunch of actors carrying crucifixes all over the stage. When they all finished and started going out the boxes again, you could tell they could hardly wait to get a cigarette of something. I saw it with old Sally Hayes the year before, and she kept saying how beautiful it was, the costumes and all. I said old jesus probably would’ve puked if he could see it.”

“John Keats / John Keats / John / Please put your scarf on.”

“I dont know what good it is to know so much and be smart as whips and all if it doesnt make you happy.”

“When the weathers nice, my parents go out quite frequently and stick a bunch of flowers on old Allies grave. I went with them a couple of times, but I cut it out. In the first place, I dont enjoy seeing him in that crazy cemetery. Surrounded by dead guys and tombstones and all. It wasnt too bad when the sun was out, but twice—twice—we were there when it started to rain. It was awful. It rained on his lousy tombstone, and it rained on the grass on his stomach. It rained all over the place. All the visitors that were visiting the cemetery started running like hell over to their cars. Thats what nearly drove me crazy. All the visitors could get in their cars and turn on their radios and all and then go someplace nice for dinner—everybody except Allie. I couldnt stand it. I know its only his body and all thats in the cemetery, and his souls in Heaven and all that crap, but I couldnt stand it anyway. I just wished he wasnt there.”

“And I cant be running back and fourth forever between grief and high delight.”

“She wasnt doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together.”

“When youre dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when youre dead? Nobody.”

“I like to be somewhere at least where you can see a few girls around once in a while, even if theyre only scratching their arms or blowing their noses or even just giggling or something.”

“Im a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.”

“He said you were the only one who was bitter about S.s suicide and the only one who really forgave him for it. The rest of us, he said, were outwardly unbitter and inwardly unforgiving. ”

“Who wants flowers when youre dead? Nobody.”

“Oh, God, if Im anything by a clinical name, Im a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I think people are plotting to make me happy.”