Quotes by J.D. Salinger

Thats the spirit! Make it chicken broth or nothing. Thats putting the old foot down. If shes determined to have a nervous breakdown, the least we can do is see that she doesnt have it in peace.

Some guys spend days looking for something they lost. I never seem to have anything that if I lost it Id care too much.

She was not one for emptying her face of expression.

Mothers are all slightly insane.

He laughed and the others laughed with him, except Babe, who resented slightly that what he felt so deeply could be reduced to a humor.

People always think somethings all true.

You take a very handsome guy, or a guy that thinks hes a real hot-shot, and theyre always asking you to do them a big favor. Just because theyre crazy about themself, they think youre crazy about them, too, and that youre just dying to do them a favor. Its sort of funny, in a way.

Thats the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if theyre not much to look at, or even if theyre sort of stupid, you fall in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can.

If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if shes late?

I think if you dont really like a girl, you shouldnt horse around with her at all, and if you do like her, then youre supposed to like her face, and if you like her face, you ought to be careful about doing crumby stuff to it, like squirting water all over it. Its really too bad that so much crumby stuff is a lot of fun sometimes.

She was around ten minutes late, as a matter of fact. I didnt give a damn, though. All that crap they have in cartoons in the Saturday Evening Post and all, showing guys on street corners looking sore as hell because their dates are late - thats bunk. If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if shes late? Nobody.

Girls with their legs crossed, girls with their legs not crossed, girls with terrific legs, girls with lousy legs, girls that looked like swell girls, girls that looked like theyd be bitches if you knew them... You figured most of them would probably marry dopey guys. Guys that always talk about how many miles they get to a gallon in their goddam cars. Guys that get sore and childish as hell if you beat them at golf, or even just some stupid game like ping-pong. Guys that are very mean. Guys that never read books. Guys that are very boring.

I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can.

Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. - Holden Caulfield

is he crazy? --Harcourt-Brace editor on Holden Caulfield

And I have one of those very loud, stupid laughs. I mean if I ever sat behind myself in a movie or something, Id probably lean over and tell myself to please shut up.

I’m not too sure what the name of the song was that he was playing when I came in, but whatever it was, he was really stinking it up. He was putting all these dumb, show-offy ripples in the high notes, and a lot of other very tricky stuff that gives me a pain in the ass. You should’ve heard the crowd, though, when he was finished. You would’ve puked. They went mad. They were exactly the same morons that laugh like hyenas in the movies at stuff that isn’t funny. I swear to God, if I were a piano player or an actor or something and all those dopes though I was terrific, I’d hate it. I wouldn’t even want them to clap for me. People always clap for the wrong things. If I were a piano player, I’d play it in the goddam closet. Anyway, when he was finished, and everybody was clapping their heads off, old Ernie turned around on his stool and gave this very phony, humble bow. Like as if he was a helluva humble guy, besides being a terrific piano player. It was very phony—I mean him being such a big snob and all. In a funny way, though, I felt sort of sorry for him when he was finished. I don’t even think he knows any more when he’s playing right or not. It isn’t all his fault. I partly blame all those dopes that clap their heads off—they’d foul up anybody, if you gave them a chance.

Boy, it began to rain like a bastard. In buckets, I swear to God. All the parents and mothers and everybody went over and stood right under the roof of the carrousel, so they wouldnt get soaked to the skin or anything, but I stuck around on the bench for quite a while. I got pretty soaking wet, especially my neck and my pants. My hunting hat really gave me quite a lot of protection, in a way; but I got soaked anyway. I didnt care, though. I felt so damn happy all of a sudden, the way old Phoebe kept going around and around. I was damn near bawling, I felt so damn happy, if you want to know the truth. I dont know why. It was just that she looked so damn nice, the way she kept going around and around, in her blue coat and all. God, I wish you couldve been there.

Whys it so sunny? she repeated.Zooey observed her rather narrowly. I bring the sun wherever I go, buddy, he said.

This whole goddam house stinks of ghosts. I don’t mind so much being haunted by a dead ghost, but I resent like hell being haunted by a half-dead one.