Quotes by Hal Sparks

“Robin Hood Prince of Thieves is about a communist sympathizer in tights who, uh, takes peoples hard earned money and gives it to lazy people.”

“I think its going to be Reese. Again, if somebody that movie was about died in the last year or so, thats the odds on favorite. They like dead people at the Oscars. I mean, the Oscar will go to Reese and June Carter. How can you not give an Oscar to a dead woman?”

“Its a cute thing. Fame is their new toy.”

“Hoffman will win. Its a crazy character, and Oscars like crazy people, and they want to give him a shout out for Twister. That was his breakout role, you know.”

“They say things like you know what I like about living in a small town? Everybody goes to church together and to the general store. Everybody knows everybody. Thats total horse shit.”

“I try to be as ignorant about things as I can.”

“Anyone who still supports George Bush would still let Michael Jackson babysit their kids.”

“I disagree with the use of the word Pussy to describe a weak person. Because the Vagina is the tougher of the two genitals. Think about it. It can pass something 50 times its size through it. You can pound on it for hours and it goes More! More! It Bleeds every month and it Wont Die! Its like the Predator! Meanwhile my Penis.. If it gets cold or theres a fight hes like Im outta here! What Im trying to say is... My Dick is a Pussy.”

“Its better to waste money than time. You can always get more money.”

Boredom is your mind and body’s way of telling you you’re not living up to your potential.

Most reality shows arent reality at all. Theyre game shows with no prize. Like Rock of Love. His arent genuine feelings. Then again, Bob Barker didnt really care whether or not you won the toaster. Sorry to shatter everyones dreams.

Truth be told, ginormous portions have become a pet peeve of mine.

Im a futurist. Technology is our way out of almost every problem we have. Technology can create a new sense of community.

Its better to waste money, than it is to waste time. You can always get more money.

Its better to waste money than time. You can always get more money.