Quotes by George Grossmith

She’s worth the whole bunch of your friends put together, that inflated, sloping-head of a Perkupp included.” I left the room with silent dignity, but caught my foot in the mat. DECEMBER 23.—I exchanged no words with Lupin in the morning; but as he seemed to be in exuberant spirits in the evening, I ventured to ask him where he intended to spend his Christmas. He replied: “Oh, most likely at the Mutlars’.” In wonderment, I said: “What! after your engagement has been broken off?” Lupin said: “Who said it is off?” I said: “You have given us both to understand—” He interrupted me by saying: “Well, never mind what I said. _It is on again—there_!” CHAPTER XIII I receive an insulting Christmas card. We spend a pleasant Christmas at Carrie’s mother’s. A Mr. Moss is rather too free. A boisterous evening, during which I am struck in the dark. I receive an extraordinary letter from Mr. Mutlar, senior, respecting Lupin. We miss drinking out the Old Year. DECEMBER 24.—I am a poor man, but I would gladly give ten shillings to find out who sent me the insulting Christmas card I received this morning. I never insult people; why should they insult me? The worst part of the transaction is, that I find myself suspecting all my friends. The handwriting on the envelope is evidently disguised, being written sloping the wrong way. I cannot think either Gowing or Cummings would do such a mean thing. Lupin denied all knowledge of it, and I believe him; although I disapprove of his laughing and sympathising with the offender. Mr. Franching would be above such an act; and I don’t think any of the Mutlars would descend to such a course. I wonder if Pitt, that impudent clerk at the office, did it? Or Mrs. Birrell, the charwoman, or Burwin-Fosselton? The writing is too good for the former. CHRISTMAS DAY.—We caught the 10.20 train at Paddington, and spent a pleasant day at Carrie’s mother’s. The country was quite nice and pleasant, although the roads were sloppy. We dined in the middle of the day, just ten of us, and talked over old times. If everybody had a nice, _un_interfering mother-in-law, such as I have, what a deal of happiness there would be in the world.

Lupin (who, ever since he has had the appointment with a stock and share broker, does not seem over-scrupulous in his dealings) told me never to rub out the pencilled price on the backs of the cards. I asked him why. Lupin said: “Suppose your card is marked 9d. Well, all you have to do is to pencil a 3—and a long down-stroke after it—in _front_ of the ninepence, and people will think you have given five times the price for it.” In the evening Lupin was very low-spirited, and I reminded him that behind the clouds the sun was shining. He said: “Ugh! it never shines on me.” I said: “Stop, Lupin, my boy; you are worried about Daisy Mutlar. Don’t think of her any more. You ought to congratulate yourself on having got off a very bad bargain. Her notions are far too grand for our simple tastes.” He jumped up and said: “I won’t allow one word to be uttered against her. She’s worth the whole bunch of your friends put together, that inflated, sloping-head of a Perkupp included.” I left the room with silent dignity, but caught my foot in the mat. DECEMBER 23.—I exchanged no words with Lupin in the morning; but as he seemed to be in exuberant spirits in the evening, I ventured to ask him where he intended to spend his Christmas. He replied: “Oh, most likely at the Mutlars’.” In wonderment, I said: “What! after your engagement has been broken off?” Lupin said: “Who said it is off?” I said: “You have given us both to understand—” He interrupted me by saying: “Well, never mind what I said. _It is on again—there_!” CHAPTER XIII I receive an insulting Christmas card. We spend a pleasant Christmas at Carrie’s mother’s. A Mr. Moss is rather too free. A boisterous evening, during which I am struck in the dark. I receive an extraordinary letter from Mr. Mutlar, senior, respecting Lupin. We miss drinking out the Old Year. DECEMBER 24.—I am a poor man, but I would gladly give ten shillings to find out who sent me the insulting Christmas card I received this morning. I never insult people; why should they insult me?