Quotes by George Alec Effinger

“Premature burial works just fine as a cure for adolescence.”

Just because your electronics are better than ours, you arent necessarily superior in any way. Look, imagine that you humans are a man in LA with a brand-new Trujillo and we are a nuhp in New York with a beat-up old Ford. The two fellows start driving toward St. Louis. Now, the guy in the Trujillo is doing 120 on the interstates, and the guy in the Ford is putting along at 55; but the human in the Trujillo stops in Vegas and puts all of his gas money down the hole of a blackjack table, and the determined little nuhp cruises along for days until at last he reaches his goal. Its all a matter of superior intellect and the will to succeed. Your people talk a lot about going to the stars, but you just keep putting your money into other projects, like war and popular music and international athletic events and resurrecting the fashions of previous decades. If you wanted to go into space, you would have.

It was one of those rare times of shared happiness, of perfect contentment. We had a feeling of expectation, that what was already wonderful would only get better and better as time went on. These moments are one of the rarest, most fragile things in the world. You have to seize the day; you have to recall all the rotten, dirty things you endured to earn this peace. You have to remember to enjoy each minute, each hour, because although you may feel like its going to last forever, the world plans otherwise. You want to be grateful for every precious second, but you simply cant do it. Its not in human nature to live life to the fullest. Havent your ever noticed that equal amounts of pain and joy are not, in fact, equal in duration? Pain drags on until you wonder if life will ever be bearable again; pleasure, though, once its reached its peak, fades faster than a trodden gardenia, and your memory searches in vain for the sweet scent.

Jesus, what a nuisance it was, being desperate to stay alive.

The two women looked at me as if I were the Messiah returning with their personal salvations sealed in separate envelopes.

The longer I observe the way people really act, the happier I am that I never pay attention to them.