Quotes by Gena Showalter

What makes big boobs and perkiness so attractive to boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a fake smile. Yeah, winning attributes.

There’s a really stupid saying: When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade. Well, I have a better saying: When life hands you a lemon, shove that lemon up its stupid butt.

People are the most difficult thing in the world to change

I’m not a bad person. I haven’t killed anyone. I (rarely) lie. I don’t kick little puppies. So why do people look at me as if the world would be a better place without me?

There are times I wish I were invisible. Which is silly, since I do everything I can to stand out.

How does fear become so powerful? We can’t see it. We can’t touch it, yet it gets its claws in us and begins to control us. Sigh. I hate feeling afraid, and I hate, hate, HATE feeling out of control.

There are two kinds of people,’ she’d said. ‘Those who coast through life like ducks in a row, following one after the other, and those who ride the waves.’” Tears spilled down my cheeks, and my voice cracked. “‘Ride the waves, baby, and live. Live.

That means life itself is a fairy tale. Like the characters, we all live and love and search for a happily-ever-after.

To answer your question, you want me because Im made of awesome.

I tried to tell you. You said you didnt care, remember?A muscle ticked below his eye. You should have told me anyway.While you had barbells within your reach? Please. Im Disease, not Stupid.

He had a bleeding cut on his leg and he smelled like shit.Her nose wrinkled. Step in something? she asked innocently. mind was being hit by a cab, then landing on the lap of a naked man. With an erection, Anya. He had an erection.

Paris answered for him. Last time he spread the flashing love, Reyes threw up all over his shirt. I never laughed so hard in my life. Lucien, though, has no sense of humor and vowed never to take us again.Im surprised you didnt mention the part where you fainted, Lucien said wryly.Strider chortled. Oh, man. You fainted? What a baby!Hey, Paris said, frowning at Lucien. I told you I hit my head midflash.Lucien

He’s a love-’em-and-leave-’em kind of guy. And though he’s not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.”William growled low in his throat. “Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone?” He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. “Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya’s the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.”Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. “William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel.

Yes, men are pigs. Except your brother, of course. Hes actually a decent human being. Almost a woman.-Jillians mother

Whats this about?Finally. Interest, was the only response.If this is one of your tricks... Like the time Torin had ordered hundreds of blow-up dolls and placed them throughout the fortress, all because Paris had foolishly complained about the lack of female companionship in town. The plastic ladies had stared our from every corner, their wide eyes and let-me-suck-you mouths taunting everyone who passed them.Things like that happened when Torin was bored.

Apparently, dancing for him and throwing herself at him werent enough. Apparently, she had to nearly commit murder to arouse him enough to attack her.

THE WOMAN WAS GOING TO KILL HIM, and not because she was stronger and more vicious than he was. Which, if he thought about it, she was. He’d never ripped a man’s throat out with his teeth, and he was damned impressed that Gwen had. She’d made the Lords of the Underworld look like marshmallows.

There was a dragon who had a long-standing obsession with a queens breasts, she said, growing breathless. The dragon knew the penalty to touch her would mean death, yet he revealed his secret desire to the kings chief doctor. This man promised he could arrange for the dragon to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him one thousand gold coins. She spread her soapy hands over his nipples, then down his arms. Though he didnt have the money, the dragon readily agreed to the scheme.Grace, Darius moaned, his erection straining against her stomach.She hid her smile, loving that she had this much power over such a strong man. That she, Grace Carlyle, made him ache with longing. The next day the physician made a batch of itching powder and poured some into the queens bra… uh, you might call it a brassiere… while she bathed. After she dressed, she began itching and itching and itching. The physician was summoned to the Royal Chambers, and he informed the king and queen that only a special saliva, if applied for several hours, would cure this type of itch. And only a dragon possessed this special saliva. Out of breath, she paused.Continue, Darius said. His arms wound around her so tightly she could barely breathe. His skin blazed hot against hers, hotter than even the steamy water.Are you sure?Continue. Taut lines bracketed his mouth.Well, the king summoned the dragon. Meanwhile, the physician slipped him the antidote for the itching powder, which the dragon put into his mouth, and for the next few hours, the dragon worked passionately on the queens breasts.Anyway, she said, reaching around him and lathering the muscled mounds of his butt, the queens itching was eventually relieved, and the dragon left satisfied and touted as a hero.This does not sound like a joke, Darius said.Im getting to the punch line. Hang on. When the physician demanded his payment, the now satisfied dragon refused. He knew that the physician could never report what really happened to the king. So the next day, the physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the kings loincloth. And the king immediately summoned the dragon.-Heart of the Dragon

Should I pull on a shirt? he asked with hint of amusement. I WILL NOT BLUSH. No. Hed be doing the world a favor if he never wore a shirt again, but I wasnt going to tell him that part. Youre fine.

Ill take the cemetery, Kane said. He didnt sound excited. Rather, he sounded resigned. The club might collapse if I go.