On the brink of sleep I have a gloomy thought: that saving yourself is only pushing yourself even deeper into the trap rather than getting out. Dying is the only way out.
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I take the book stopped at a fold, deliver myself to its pace, to the breathing of the other storyteller. If I am someone else, its also because books move men more than journeys or tears.After many pages you end up learning a variant, a different move than the one taken and thought inevitable.I break away from what I am when I learn to treat my own life differently.
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Do you really know yourself so well or are you making it up? she asks. Some things I concoct, some I glean from my senses, most I thirst for.
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Im not that man anymore. No one can stay that way too long. Thats why wars end and a later generation catches its breath looking forward and erasing whats behind.
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I can hardly keep track of the things I dont know, but every now and then comes an ignorance that makes me nostalgic.
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I grow fond of David, who lays a single stone before Goliath and a single book, the Psalms, in the mouth of the world.
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Sometimes to take two steps in a row, one after the other, I need to make a contract with myself.
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A man dies and his skin loses heat like the sand on a summer evening. It makes you feel like warming him up.
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You stay in the war because it would be shameful to stay out of it. An then grief seizes you and hold its grip till anger has turned you into a soldier.
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This is what books should do: Carry a person and not be carried by him; take the day off his back, not add its own ounces of paper to his vertebrae.
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I read used books because fingerprint-smudged and dog-eared pages are heavier on the eye. Because every book can belong to many lives. Books should be kept in public places and step out with passersby wholl onto them for a spell. Books should die like people, consumed by aches and pains, infected, drowning off a bridge together with the suicides, poked into a potbellied stove, torn apart by children to make paper boats. They should die of anything, in other words, except boredom, as private property condemned to a life sentence on a shelf.
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I see the pain of miserly love in young people, I say. You dont have that kind of melancholy on your face. But Im careful not to step on your feet when I speak with you. Its not like dancing. Its like a stone walkway with a little grass between the cracks. Its strong but I will try to tread carefully and not ruin it. In Muslim homes you leave your shoes outside. This is how I behave with you.
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