Quotes by Ernest Cline

No one in the world gets what they want and that is beautiful.

You could shove it up your ass and pretend youre a corn dog.COURTESY VIOLATION-RESPONSE MUTED-VIOLATION LOGGED

I wish someone had just told me the truth right up front, as soon as I was old enough to understand it. I wish someone had just said: “Here’s the deal, Wade. You’re something called a ‘human being.’ That’s a really smart kind of animal. Like every other animal on this planet, we’re descended from a single-celled organism that lived millions of years ago. This happened by a process called evolution, and you’ll learn more about it But trust me, that’s really how we all got here. There’s proof of it everywhere, buried in the rocks. That story you heard? About how we were all created by a super-powerful dude named God who lives up in the sky? Total bullshit. The whole God thing is actually an ancient fairy tale that people have been telling one another for thousands of years. We made it all up. Like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. “Oh, and by the way … there’s no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny. Also bullshit. Sorry, kid Deal with it.

Youre probably wondering whats going to happen to you. Thats easy. The same thing is going to happen to you that has happened to every other human being who has ever lived. Youre going to die. We all die. Thats just how it is.

It suddenly occurred to me just how absurd this scene was: a guy wearing a suit of armor, standing next to an undead king, both hunched over the controls of a classic arcade game. It was the sort of surreal image youd expect to see on the cover of an old issue of Heavy Metal or Dragon magazine.

Even humanitys lack of concern for its rampant overpopulation problem now made a terrible kind of sense. What difference did it make if our planet was capable of supporting all seven billion of us in the long term when a far greater threat to our numbers was waiting in the wings? And despite the overwhelming odds, humanity had done what was necessary to ensure its own survival. It filled me with a strange new sense of pride in my own species. We werent a bunch of primitive monkeys teetering on the brink of self-destruction after all—this appeared ti be an altogether different kind of destruction we were teetering on the brink of.

Lights, I said softly. This had become my favorite word over the past week. In my mind, it had become synonymous with freedom.

Youre going to turn it into a fascist corporate theme park where the few people who can still afford the price of admission no longer have an ounce of freedom.

I have a thing for evil bald bad guys. The Kurgan is too sexy.

What happens when you die? Well, were not completely sure. But the evidence seems to suggest that nothing happens. Youre just dead, your brain stops working, and then youre not around to ask annoying questions anymore. Those stories you heard? About going to a wonderful place called heaven where there is no pain or death and you live forever in a state of perpetual happiness? Also total bullshit. Just like all that God stuff. Theres no evidence of a heaven and there never was. We made that up too. Wishful thinking. So now you have to live the rest of your life knowing youre going to die someday and disappear forever.Sorry.

I was watching a collection of vintage 80s cereal commercials when I paused to wonder why cereal manufacturers no longer included toy prizes inside every box. It was a tragedy, in my opinion. Another sign that civilization was going straight down the tubes.

If I was feeling depressed or frustrated about my lot in life, all I had to do was tap the Player One button, and my worries would instantly slip away as my mind focused itself on the relentless pixelated onslaught on the screen in front of me.

I created the OASIS because I never felt at home in the real world. I didnt know how to connect with the people there. I was afraid, for all of my life, right up until I knew it was ending. That was when I realized, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, its also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real.

Maybe they seeded life on Earth millions of years ago, and now theyre here to punish us for turning out to be such a lame species and inventing reality TV and shit?

As we continued to talk, going through the motions of getting to know each other, I realized that we already did know each other, as well as any two people could. We’d known each other for years, in the most intimate way possible. We’d connected on a purely mental level. I understood her, trusted her, and loved her as a dear friend. None of that had changed, or could be changed by anything as inconsequential as her gender, or skin color, or sexual orientation.

My father looked as if Id just gutted him - but it was mingled with a twisted sense of satisfaction. It felt good to hurt his feelings.

... you only know what I want you to know, you only see what I want you to see....Wade: I dont care! I am in love with your mind, with the person you are. I couldnt care about the packaging.

That story you heard? About how we were all created by a super-powerful dude named God who lives up in the sky? Total bullshit. The whole God thing is actually an ancient fairy tale that people have been telling one another for thousands of years. We made it all up. Like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.Oh, and by the way... theres no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny. Also bullshit. Sorry, kid. Deal with it.

He died when he was only nineteen years old. I was still a baby at the time, so I didnt remember him. Growing up, Id always told myself that was lucky. Because you cant miss someone you dont remember. But the truth was, I did miss him.

Mr. Morrow, IOI owns this network... Of course they do! Morrow shouted gleefully. The own practically everything! Including you, pretty boy! I mean did they tattoo a UPC code on your ass when they hired you to sit there and spout their corporate propaganda?