Quotes by Doug Larson

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when youd have preferred to talk.

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.