Sometimes you met someone that changed the pattern, who wormed their way past the cracks in your heart, caulked them up, sealed themselves in, and stayed there. Sometimes they did it by insisting you meet them at every step, as Jamie had done to me.
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Because I know from experience that sometimes its only the young ones who are crazy enough to change the world.
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I hadn’t gone to Andover, or Horace Mann or Eton. My high school had been the average kind, and I’d been the best student there. Such was not the case at Eli. Here, I was surrounded by geniuses. I’d figured out early in my college career that there were people like Jenny and Brandon and Lydia and Josh—truly brilliant, truly luminous, whose names would appear in history books that my children and grandchildren would read, and there were people like George and Odile—who through beauty and charm and personality would make the cult of celebrity their own. And then there were people like me. People who, through the arbitrary wisdom of the admissions office, might share space with the big shots for four years, might be their friends, their confidantes, their associates, their lovers—but would live a life well below the global radar. I knew it, and over the years, I’d come to accept it.And I understood that it didn’t make them any better than me.
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This whole time, I wasnt waiting for something in particular. Just someone who wanted me.Not sex.But me.
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Sometimes its only the young ones who are crazy enough to change the world.
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I can wait in silence no longer, but I’m afraid I’m already too late. I am trapped between agony and hope—believing I have no right to speak, but knowing more how much I’d regret it if I did not. Tell me I’m not wrong. Tell me that, this time, you will accept my offer. Because I’m making it again. I want you with me, Elliot. It’s all I have ever wanted. I offer you everything I have—my world, my ship, my self—perhaps they will be enough to replace what I know you would be giving up if you came with me.
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P—Jamie!” I called. He waded back toward me. “I’m starting to think my name is Pajamie.” “Your name should be Pajerky. You said it wasn’t deep.” “Pajerky?” He gave me a skeptical look. “That’s Pathetic.” “We’ll see how smug you are once I’m on dry land.
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...You are my compass star. And he was hers.
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I dont need to see the trail to know youre at the end of it. My grandfathers compass may not work, but mine is still true.
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No one is innocent in the tide of history. Everyone has kings and slaves in his past. Everyone has saints and sinners. We are not to blame for the actions of our ancestors. We can only try to be the best we can, no matter what our heritage, to strive for a better future for all.
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Amazing how being bathed in arterial blood can wash out any lingering romantic disappointments.
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There are a few things that even sarcasm cant protect you from.
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I have a question for you, but it’s kind of...um, personal.” “Yes, I’m gay.” “You really are a fan of saying that, aren’t you?” “Once you start, you just can’t stop.
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There was that word again.Mature. Was this what maturity was? Giving up on the things we wanted because we knew we’d never get them?
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