Quotes by Deb Caletti

People can attach themselves to something--an idea, another person, a desire--with an impossibly strong grip, and in the case of restless ghosts, a grip stronger than death. Will is a powerful thing. Will--its supposed to be a good treat, a more determined and persistent version of determination and persistence. But will and obsession--they sit right next to each other. They pretend to be strangers and all the while meet secretly at midnight. -

Too often in my life, love has been defined as humiliation with occasional roses.

So I put up with bad behavior in the name of loving the way I thought you were supposed to love.

A relationship could be a place to hide too.

What is it about hairdressers? You tell them not too short and some part of their hairdresser brain hears this as whack the shit out of it. If you never say, not too short, everything is fine. You say it, & its a guarantee youll come out ready for the military>

If time heals all wounds, and a book can hold a persons entire life, then you can speed up the process with a pulp time warp.

We are thickly layered, page lying upon page, behind simple covers. And love - it is not the book itself, but the binding.

Usually, I set one foot in a library and I feel my own internal volume lower. A library is a physical equivalent of a sigh. It’s the silence, sure, but it’s also the certainty of all those books, the way they stand side by side with their still, calm conviction. It’s the reassurance of knowledge in the face of confusion.

Sometimes good choices are really bad ones, wrapped up in so much fear you cant even see straight.

The loneliness you feel with another person, the wrong person, is the loneliest of all.

And pity--people who inspire it in you are actually very powerful people. To get someone else to take care of you, to feel sorry for you--that takes a lot of strength, smarts, manipulation. Very powerful people.

People are secretive when they have secrets.

Maybe a persons world can grow bigger in all the right ways, not too wide that it becomes shallow, just large enough to preserve its depth.

Ive wished for things and never really had the chance...Its time to stop dreaming and do something about it. Youve got to know what you want, then...go.

I love to see those paragliders weaving softly around Moon Point, their legs floating above you in the air. When they drift in for a landing, their feet touch the ground and they trot forward from the continued motion of the glider, which billows down like a setting sun. I never get tired of watching them and Ive seen them thousands of times. I always wondered what that kind of freedom would feel like.

It was more work than it seemed, looking through a telescope, as the Earth was continually moving and you had to move along with it. You dont realize how fast this acutally happens, and its kind of both creepy and wonderful when you stop to think about it. And it makes you realize theres absolutely no way to avoid change. You can sit there and cross your arms and refuse it, but underneath you, things are still spinning away.

But what I wanted back had never really been there. He was a temporary illusion, a mirage of water after walking in the desert. I had made him up. And he could have killed me. Youve got to stop the ride sometimes. Stop it and get off.

I used to think that finding the right one was about the man having a list of certain qualities. If he has them, wed be compatible and happy. Sort of a checkmark system that was a complete failure. But I found out that a healthy relationship isnt so much about sense of humor or intelligence or attractive. Its about avoiding partners with harmful traits and personality types. And then its about being with a good person. A good person on his own, and a good person with you. Where the space between you feels uncomplicated and happy. A good relationship is where things just work. They work because, whatever the list of qualities, whatever the reason, you happen to be really, really good together.

Rejection, though--it could make the loss of someone you werent even that crazy about feel gut wrenching and world ending.

The most basic and somehow forgettable thing is this: Love is not pain. Love is goodness. And real love--its less shiny than solid and simple.