Quotes by David Walliams

In Britain, a cup of tea is the answer to every problem.Fallen off your bicycle? Nice cup of tea.Your house has been destroyed by a meteorite? Nice cup of tea and a biscuit.Your entire family has been eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex that has travelled through a space/time portal? Nice cup of tea and a piece of cake. Possibly a savoury option would be welcome here too, for example a Scotch egg or a sausage roll.

I had a very happy childhood, but I wasnt that happy a child. I liked being alone and creating characters and voices. I think thats when your creativity is developed, when youre young. I liked the world of the imagination because it was an easy place to go to.

Adults always ask kids how they are doing at school. The one subject kids absolutely hate talking about. You dont even want to talk about school when you are at school.

My name is Mr Bread. He began writing his name neatly on the board. But you can call me Peter.Suddenly there was quiet, as thirty little brains whirred.Pita Bread! proclaimed a ginger-haired boy from the back.

I dont have a fear factor. Well, not much of one. And Im willing to risk quite a lot - as a comedian, youre always risking a lot. Youre risking failure, especially if youre improvising and going on TV shows trying to make comedy out of thin air. That is quite a risky business.

I know somebody from university whos called Phil Collins, and I think theres something terribly unfortunate about sharing a name with somebody who either is famous or becomes famous.

Ive noticed that once you leave London you do kind of become a bit more famous. People in London are a bit too cool for school. Its not so unusual to see someone from London in the street. But outside of London people are a bit more excited to see you and come out and support you.

I used to have a silk dressing gown an uncle bought in Japan and when I came downstairs in it, my dad used to call me Davinia. There was never embarrassment about that kind of thing. My sister used to dress me up a lot. She thought I was a little doll.