Quotes by Daniel Handler

“For most people, the two primary relationships they have are with their families or romantic ones. And everyone knows those two relationships have a lot to do with one another.”

“Its full of depressing details about the childrens lives, ... and, Im sorry to say, its the longest in the series. So in terms of total misery, its quite a lot to deal with well, both in terms of the number of pages and the amount of misery per page.”

“A nice thing about childrens books, though Im probably alone in this opinion among people who write and publish them, is that they did get to be in this unrecognized ghetto for a long time.”

“The way Sunny speaks in the books seems a perfect fit for the cause in question. She often uses words that cant be found in the Oxford English Dictionary, which then are explained as sly commentary on whats going on around her,”

“And she has a fairly consistent political agenda. Shes a baby, so individual liberty is a developing idea in her psyche.”

“I was interested in finding ways to do dark comedy that were actually dark and comic.”

“I dont know whether its digital effects or if they trained a baby to bite through steel. Im not sure what method was used.”

“People can expect poisonous mushrooms, ... And then only if they open the book.”

“Watch Your Mouth.”

“Book thirteen marks the return of a reptile previously gone missing.”

The thing with your hearts desire is that your heart doesnt even know what it desires until it turns up.

A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.

I gasped and pointed the way. I gave you an adventure, Ed, right in front of you but you never saw it until I showed you, and thats why we broke up.

This is how it is in life and love. In life and love we are with people for a while, and then we join other people, people we have not met, and we walk with them, and we leave behind all the things we used to be. Sometimes we leave people behind too... This happens everyday. Everyday this happens and scarcely anybody cares.

Everything else has vanished, so you take them now. Maybe if youre the one keeping them, Ill be the one feeling better.

There are so many movies like this, where you thought you were smarter than the screen but the director was smarter than you, of course hes the one, of course it was a dream, of course shes dead, of course, its hidden right there, of course its the truth and you in your seat have failed to notice in the dark.

For every girl I thought I was uncomplicated sex, it wasnt. Put it this way: if you cant see the complication, youre probably it.

No, when you love someone you spend hours and hours with them, and even the mightiest forces in the netherworld could not say whether the hours you spend increase your love or if you simply spend more hours with someone as your love increases.

He thought she knew what he meant, but the biggest mistake you can make is thinking they know what you mean.

Call me later, you’d said, so I could call you later, at night, and it is those nights I miss you, Ed, the most, on the phone, you beautiful bastard.