Quotes by Craig Kilborn

“Democrats were quick to point out that President Bushs budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with Hey, look over there, its Saddam Hussein.”

“George W. Bush even stopped in Pennsylvania to try his hand at the lotto and gave up when he could only think of the numbers 4 and 17”

“Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.”

“President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, I know youre there, pick up, pick up.”

“In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.”

“Clinton said he feels safe in Harlem. Its the only place in the state Hillary is scared to look for him after dark.”

“Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dos organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.”

“John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.”

“Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, If I cant run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then Im out of here.”

However, frat-boy humor is funny and it always will be.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, I know youre there, pick up, pick up.