Quotes by Chuck Palahniuk

Maybe God left it up to people to develop the ability to bring back Christ into their lives. Maybe God wanted us to invent our own savior when we were ready. When we need it most. Denny says maybe its up to us to create our own messiah. To save ourselves.

Do you know why most survivors of the Holocaust are vegan? Its because they know what its like to be treated like an animal.

Listening, it occurred to Randall that the love people feel for animals is the purest form of love. Loving an animal, a horse, cat, or dog, was always a romantic tragedy. It meant loving something that would die before you. Like that movie with Ali McGraw. There was no future, just the affection of the present moment. You didnt expect a big payoff, someday.

Fathers. Mothers. With all their caring and attention. They will f--- you up, every time.

By the time you read this, youll be older than you remember.

Hey, even the Mona Lisa is falling apart.

Love is bullshit. Emotion is bullshit.

Until today, it really pissed me off that Id become this totally centered Zen Master, and nobody had noticed. Still, im doing the little FAX thing. I write little HAIKU things and FAX them around to everyone. When i pass people in the hall at work, I get toally ZEN right in everyones hostile little FACE.

First your parents, they give you your life, but then they try to give you their life.

No, I say, its fine.Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. Just great, I say. Really.

She said when a boy and a girl dog copulate, the head of the boys penis swells and the vaginal muscles of the girl constrict. Even after sex, both dogs remain locked together, helpless and miserable for a brief period of time.The Mommy said this same scenario described most marriages.

During the Cold War of the 1950s, American spies were issued eyeglasses with thick, clunky frames. If captured, they were trained to casually chew the curved earpieces, where fatal doses of cyanide were cast inside the plastic. Its these same horn-rimmed suicide glasses, the wrangler says, that inspired the look of Buddy Holly and Elvis Costello. All those young hipsters wearing death on their nose.

The same way a compact disk isnt responsible for whats recorded on it, thats how we are. Youre about as free to act as a programmed computer. Youre about as one-of-a-kind as a dollar bill

Thats why I write, because life never works except in retrospect. You cant control life, at least you can control your version.

My mom would spy by satellite, turning down the air conditioning, colder and colder, with a tapping keystroke via her wireless connection, chilling that house, that one room, meat locker cold, ski-slope cold, spending a kings ransom on Freon and electric power, trying to make some doomed ten bucks worth of pretty pink flowers last one more day.

Everybodys trying to make every minute of the present last forever. Preserve every second.

If this is death, if we are dead or dying or even if we are living and just going to die, then what do we have to fear? What are we worried about? I think the knowledge of death is freeing. That pressure we feel, the weight of life and its impending conclusion, is imaginary. And the fact that we’re all in this together is unifying: there’s solidarity in mortality.

Prepare to evacuate soul in ten, in nine, eight.Chloes splashing through the ankle-deep back-up of renal fluid from her failed kidneys.Death will commence in five.Five, four.Around her, a parasitic life spray paints her heart.Four, three.Three, two.Chloe climbs hand-over-hand up the curled lining of her own throat.Death to commence in three, two.Moonlight shines in through the open mout...h.Prepare for the last breath, now.Evacuate.Now.Soul clear of body.Death commences.Now.

If you dont know what you want, the doorman said, you end up with a lot you dont.

Fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may.