Quotes by Charlie Kaufman

Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head. Maybe if I were happier, my hair wouldnt be falling out.Life is short. I need to make the most of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Im a walking cliché.I really need to go to the doctor and have my leg checked. Theres something wrong. A bump. The dentist called again. Im way overdue. If I stop putting things off, I would be happier. All I do is sit on my fat ass. If my ass wasnt fat I would be happier. I wouldnt have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time. Like thats fooling anyone. Fat ass.I should start jogging again. Five miles a day. Really do it this time. Maybe rock climbing. I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more, improve myself. What if I learned Russian or something? Or took up an instrument? I could speak Chinese. Id be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool.I should get my hair cut short. Stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that?Just be real. Confident. Isnt that what women are attracted to? Men dont have to be attractive. But thats not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days.Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence? Maybe its my brain chemistry. Maybe thats whats wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that.But Ill still be ugly though.Nothings gonna change that.

CLEMENTINE: This is it, Joel. Its going to be gone soon.JOEL: I know.CLEMENTINE: What do we do?JOEL: Enjoy it.

There really is only one ending to any story. Human life ends in death. Until then, it keeps going and gets complicated and theres loss. Everything involves loss; every relationship ends in one way or another.

Im not a concept. Too many guys think Im a concept or I complete them or Im going to make them alive…but Im just a fucked up girl whos looking for my own peace of mind. Dont assign me yours.

Storytelling is inherently dangerous. Consider a traumatic event in your life. Think about how you experienced it. Now think about how you told it to someone a year later. Now think about how you told it for the hundredth time. Its not the same thing. Most people think perspective is a good thing: you can figure out characters arcs, you can apply a moral, you can tell it with understanding and context. But this perspective is a misrepresentation: its a reconstruction with meaning, and as such bears little resemblance to the event.

You and I share the same DNA.Is there anything more lonely than that?

Constantly talking isnt necessarily communicating.

Im not into extreme sports or something. I just live a quiet life.

Ive had to deal, a lot, with my own sense of intimidation at meeting famous people - especially actors, but really any famous people.

Theres no way to approach anything in an objective way. Were completely subjective; our view of the world is completely controlled by who we are as human beings, as men or women, by our age, our history, our profession, by the state of the world.

When Im writing, Im trying to immerse myself in the chaos of an emotional experience, rather than separate myself from it and look back at it from a distance with clarity and tell it as a story. Because thats how life is lived, you know?

I do like escapism. I like going to the movies on a Friday night and seeing something fun.

I really dont have any solutions and I dont like movies that do.

As a writer, or as a filmmaker, you have to present yourself, and part of what yourself is is what youre interested in, or what you think is funny, or what you think is sad, or what you think is horrible.

“There really is only one ending to any story. Human life ends in death. Until then, it keeps going and gets complicated and theres loss. Everything involves loss; every relationship ends in one way or another.”