Quotes by Cathy Burnham Martin

Actively repeating a lie or denial does not make it true.

Extra-marital affairs become things of legend… and often the undoing of legends… and mere mortals.

Cheating is pure hypocrisy. Our partner deserves better than that. If we don’t love someone, we should not be with them. That would also be hypocrisy.

Screaming and repeating lies makes them neither true nor more believable.

There is tremendous trauma in the betrayal caused by a perpetual liar as they repeatedly commit psychological abuse.

Direct lies, small lies, huge lies, and lies of omission… these are all self-serving and sources of self-destruction.

Most single people are sick of married people presenting themselves as both available and interested, when indeed they are merely “playing.” Oh, yeah… and cheating. Gee, that is attractive. Not! Others could not care less what someone’s marital status might be.

We never want to be taken for granted, but our partners should be able to expect our honest loyalty. That is a powerfully strong foundation block for a relationship. I want to meet the greatest expectations, without being the greatest fraud.

In truth, if it isn’t to save your life when it’s in imminent danger, someone yelling at you is just plain wrong. The same is true for ranting or bitching. The same goes double for anything even close to manhandling.

If a man or a woman starts “expecting” sex, then it is no longer special, and a lover will likely start to feel used.

When we make the decisions to be and stay in love, we should also make a decision and commitment to be supportive.

If we are sharing challenges and concerns, laughter and life stories, dreams and dramas with someone other than our mate, we are making precious, intimate connections with someone other than our mate. We need to keep not only physical, but emotional and intellectual connections strong and active with our beloved.

We would not want the joy of physical and sexual intimacy to fade after years together. We need to also remember to keep our intellectual and emotional intimacy every bit as sacred.

Should we “expect” our physical, sexual, intellectual, and emotional intimacies to automatically continue throughout a marriage? Nope. At least, not in my opinion. But I do think we should be able to expect both partners to protect and preserve the sanctity of these intimacies. That, to me, is part of honest loyalty.

Some people think that it’s okay to be downright nasty to people they love. It is not okay. Nasty is never called for, and it’s certainly not sweet, useful, nor positive.

Past misdeeds must only serve as a reference point in calm conversation about lessons learned or actions that taught us to behave better. They should never be bantered about with sarcasm, anger, or nastiness.

Appreciation and respect are mutual needs. We may be wired differently as men and women, but some needs are parallel human needs.

It takes a strong woman to tolerate a weak man. That said, it takes a strong man to tolerate a weak woman, too.

I think we need to develop a powerful dose of tolerance to understand each other’s humanness. None of us is perfect.

Without trust, our relationships lack an essential ingredient for emotional intimacy. We need to be able to totally trust our partner with our deepest thoughts, dreams, fears, and secrets.