Quotes by Bill Cosby

A word to the wise aint necessary, its the stupid ones who need advice.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...theres a little voice that say, I wonder where he would go......if it hadnt been for his head...

Parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty,” I told her.Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: “It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.

It isnt a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all thats beautiful.

Thats why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.

Im not the boss of my house. I dont know how I lost it, I dont know when I lost it, I dont really think I ever had it. But Ive seen the bosss job...and I dont want it!

Parents are not interested in justice, theyre interested in peace and quiet.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Gray hair is Gods graffiti.

Ive noticed the customers in health food stores. They are pale skinny people who usually look half dead. In a steak house you see robust ruddy people. Theyre dying of course but they look terrific.

Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow children to come back home.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Theres no labor a man can do thats undignified if he does it right.

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldnt have any material. He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.

George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. Its taking something common and drawing out the humor, being clever with words.