Quotes by Bill Cosby

“I am not the boss of my house. I dont know when I lost it. I dont know if I ever had it. But I have seen the bosss job and I do not want it.”

“A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when hes in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.”

“Why do kids always say peace out, I though peace was in.”

“My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didnt because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.”

“Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what youre telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.”

“You are well-educated and you look cute, but thats not going to cut it.”

“When the child is twelve, your wife buys her a splendidly silly article of clothing called a training bra. To train what? I never had a training jock. And believe me, when I played football, I could have used a training jock more than any twelve-year-old needs a training bra.”

“What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in the fact that another person lives, acts, and experiences otherwise than we do…?”

“Of course, Ankh-Morporks citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed.”

“The vermine is a small black and white relative of the lemming, found in the cold Hublandish regions. Its skin is rare and highly valued, especially by the vermine itself; the selfish little bastard will do anything rather than let go of it.”

“If theres anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”

“Dear God. We paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing.”

“The desire for freedom resides in every human heart. And that desire cannot be contained forever by prison walls, or martial laws, or secret police. Over time, and across the Earth, freedom will find a way.”

A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.

And so the dentist says Rinse. So you lean over, and youre lookin at this miniature toilet bowl.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and Im not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

If you want to be seen, stand up.If you want to be heard, speak up.If you want to be appreciated, shut up.

gray hair is gods graffiti

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.