Quotes by Bill Burr

Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You cant just be like, Alright, I got my hour down, people are coming to see me now. Now, Im going to lean on the mike stand. No, you gotta work even harder now. You got to top what you already did. Because theyll find someone else.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldnt be funny, but to observe it, its hilarious.

They say you dont want to meet your heroes, but those two guys, you do want to meet them, because they do not disappoint. Walken has this amazing sense of humor, and Pacino is like just a sweetheart of a guy.

I gotta be honest with you. Im kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?

Did you ever spell a word so bad that your spell check has absolutely no clue what youre trying to spell? What do you end up getting, you end up getting, like, a question mark. You got a million dollars of technology just looking back at you like, You got me, buddy. Which is pretty amazing because I have all the words.

I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. Id like to be in those giant movies, as the fifth or sixth lead, and have three or four killer scenes. You dont have the responsibility of the entire movie being on you. I like those roles. Im shooting for the middle.

You know, it wasnt even that Im a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though Id be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.

My parents have a ridiculous work ethic; my dad just works, works, works, works, works. I think it would be hard to find a guy whos logged more hours than that guy.