I know thats what people say-- youll get over it. Id say it, too. But I know its not true. Oh, youll be happy again, never fear. But you wont forget. Every time you fall in love it will be because something in the man reminds you of him.
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But she needs me more than she needs him and I guess being needed is almost as good as being loved. Maybe better.
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Dear God, she prayed, let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry...have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere - be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost.
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Because, explained Mary Rommely simply, the child must have a valuable thing which is called imagination. The child must have a secret world in which live things that never were. It is necessary that she believe. She must start out by believing in things not of this world. Then when the world becomes too ugly for living in, the child can reach back and live in her imagination. I, myself, even in this day and at my age, have great need of recalling the miraculous lives of the Saints and the great miracles that have come to pass on earth. Only by having these things in my mind can I live beyond what I have to live for.
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She had become accustomed to being lonely. She was used to walking alone and to being considered different. She did not suffer too much.
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In the future, when something comes up, you tell exactly how it happened but write down for yourself the way you think it should have happened. Tell the truth and write the story. Then you wont get mixed up. It was the best advice Francie every got.
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There had to be dark and muddy waters so that the sun could have something to background its flashing glory.
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Brooklyn was a dream. All the things that happened there just couldnt happen. It was all dream stuff. Or was it all real and true and was it that she, Francie, was the dreamer?
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A lie was something you told because you were mean or a coward. A story was something you made up out of something that might have happened. Only you didnt tell it like it was, you told it like you thought it should have been.
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Everything, decided Francie after that first lecture, was vibrant with life and there was no death in chemistry. She was puzzled as to why learned people didnt adopt chemistry as a religion.
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Francie, huddled with other children of her kind, learned more that first day than she realized. She learned of the class system of a great Democracy.
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The world was hers for the reading.
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Yes, when I get big and have my own home, no plush chairs and lace curtains for me. And no rubber plants. Ill have a desk like this in my parlor and white walls and a clean green blotter every Saturday night and a row of shining yellow pencils always sharpened for writing and a golden-brown bowl with a flower or some leaves or berries always in it and books . . . books . . . books. . . .
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The library was a little old shabby place. Francie thought it was beautiful. The feeling she had about it was as good as the feeling she had about church. She pushed open the door and went in. She liked the combined smell of worn leather bindings, library past and freshly inked stamping pads better than she liked the smell of burning incense at high mass.
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From that time on, the world was hers for the reading. She would never be lonely again, never miss the lack of intimate friends. Books became her friends and there was one for every mood.
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But the penciled sheets did not seem like nor smell like the library book so she had given it up, consoling herself with the vow that when she grew up, she would work hard, save money and buy every single book that she liked.
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They were all slender, frail creatures with wondering eyes and soft fluttery voices. But they were all made out of thin invisible steel.
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They were all slender, frail creatures with wondering Wes and soft fluttery voices. But they were all made out of thin invisible steel.
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Oh, magic hour, when a child first knows she can read printed words.
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Oh, magic hour when a child first knows it can read printed words! For quite a while, Francie had been spelling out letters, sounding them and then putting the sounds together to mean a word. But, one day, she looked at a page and the word mouse had instantaneous meaning. She looked at the word, and a picture of a gray mouse scampered through her mind. She looked further and when she saw horse, she heard him pawing the ground and saw the sun glint on his glossy coat. The word running hit her suddenly and she breathed hard as though running herself. The barrier between he individual sound of each letter and the whole meaning of the word was removed and the printed word meant a thing at one quick glance. She read a few pages rapidly and almost became ill with excitement. She wanted to shout it out. She could read! She could read!From that time on, the world was hers for the reading. She would never be lonely again, never miss the lack of intimate friends. Books became her friends and there was one for every mood. There was poetry for quiet companionship. There was adventure when she tired of quiet hours. There would be love stories when she came to adolescence and when she wanted to feel a closeness to someone she could read a biography. On that day when she first knew she could read, she made a vow to read one book a day as long as she lived.
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