Quotes by Bennett Cerf

“The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.”

“Good manners: The noise you dont make when youre eating soup.”

“For me, a hearty belly laugh is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.”

“A pat on the back, through only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, is miles ahead in results.”

“Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they dont recognize you.”

“Censor: A self-appointed snoop hound who sticks his nose in other peoples business”

“The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.”

“There have been too many books in which some young man is looking forward, backward or sideways in anger. Or in which some Southern youth is being chased through the magnolia bushes by his aunt. She catches him on page 28 with horrid results.”

“Fame - anyone who says he doesnt like it is crazy”

“The Atomic Age is here to stay - but are we?”

“Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.”

“What rotten luck. Obviously, another book at this time about exactly the same subject would be a sad anticlimax!”

Coleridge was a drug addict. Poe was an alcoholic. Marlowe was killed by a man whom he was treacherously trying to stab. Pope took money to keep a womans name out of a satire, then wrote a piece so that she could still be recognized, anyhow. Chatterton killed himself. Byron was accused of incest. Do you still want to a writer -and if so, why?

Middle age is when your old classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they dont recognize you.

They tell about a fifteen-year-old boy in an orphans home who had an incurable stutter. One Sunday the minister was detained and the boy volunteered to say the prayer in his stead. He did it perfectly too without a single stutter. Later he explained I dont stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.

Fame - anyone who says he doesnt like it is crazy.

Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they dont recognize you.

The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.