Quotes by Barry Humphries

“New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.”

“To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with ones mother.”

“Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And thats only a recent development.”

“My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more.”

“Most of my contemporaries at school entered the World of Business, the logical destiny of bores.”

“Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.”

“A lot of people, for reasons I cant understand, are puzzled to learn I drive. In fact I have been driven since I was 18 and have never had an accident or been clamped.”

“Just get up there and neigh!”

“Dame Edna: The Royal Tour”

“Hes not anyone Ive played before,”

Ive decided the secret of parenting is benevolent neglect.

In Australia, they really want to turn me into a religion. A religion! Can you imagine? The Church of Edna? Oh. I dont want to be over-revered.

I never thought that I would become a staple in the Australian cultural diet. The equivalent of bread or milk, or a fine old Tasmanian Mauve Vein. I think its because I talk about things that people dare not mention. I dont mean raunchy things or unsavoury things. I call a spade a spade - I discuss things in a realistic manner.

I have beautiful, beautiful clothes, designed by my bachelor boy son, Kenny. Kenny has a big following as it is, and even Lady Gaga has asked Kenny to design dresses for her. But Kenny isnt very keen on, well, shall we say, extreme women. He likes someone that women all over the world can identify with.

Glamour comes from within. My beauty regime begins with my personality.