My happiness is not the means to any end. It is the end. It is its own goal. It is its own purpose.
I need no warrant for
being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant
and the sanction.
It is my eyes which see, and the sight of my eyes grants beauty
to the earth. It is my ears which hear, and the hearing of my
ears gives its song to the world. It is my mind which thinks, and
the [-judgement-] {+judgment+} of my mind is the only searchlight that can find the
truth. It is my will which chooses, and the choice of my will is
the only edict I must respect.
Many words have been granted me, and some are wise, and some are
false, but only three are holy: "I will it!"
Whatever road I take, the guiding star is within me; the guiding
star and the loadstone which point the way. They point
[-on-] {+in+} but one
direction. They point to me.
I know not if this earth on which I stand is the core of the
universe or if it is but a speck of dust lost in eternity. I know
not and I care not. For I know what happiness is possible to me
on earth. And my happiness needs no [-nigher-] {+higher+} aim to vindicate it.
My happiness is not the means to any end. It is the end. It is
its own goal. It is its own purpose.
Neither am I the means to any end others may wish to accomplish.
I am not a tool for their use. I am not a servant of their needs.
I am not a bandage for their wounds. I am not a sacrifice on
their altars.
I am a man. This miracle of me is mine to own and keep, and mine
to guard, and mine to use, and mine to kneel before!
I do not surrender my treasures, nor do I share them. The fortune
of my spirit is not to be blown into coins of brass and flung to
the winds as alms for the poor of the spirit. I guard my
treasures: my thought, my will, my freedom. And the greatest of
these is freedom.
I owe nothing to my brothers, nor do I gather debts from them. I
ask none to live for me, nor do I live for any others. I covet no
man's soul, nor is my soul theirs to covet.
I am neither foe nor friend to my brothers, but such as each of
them shall deserve of me. And to earn my love, my brothers must
do more than to have been born. I do not grant my love without
reason, nor to any chance passer-by who may wish to claim it.
And now I see the face of god, and I raise this god over the earth, this god whom men have sought since men came into being, this god who will grant them joy and peace and pride. This god, this one word: I.
This word must never be placed first within
man's soul, else it becomes a monster, the root of all the evils
on earth, the root of man's torture by men, and [-of-] an unspeakable lie.
The word "We" is as lime poured over men, which sets and hardens
to stone, and crushes all beneath it, and that which is white and
that which is black are lost equally in the grey of it. It is the
word by which the depraved steal the virtue of the good, by which
the weak steal the might of the strong, by which the fools steal
the wisdom of the sages.
What is my joy if all hands, even the unclean, can reach into it?
What is my wisdom, if even the fools can dictate to me? What is
my freedom, if all creatures, even the botched and [-the-] impotent, are
my masters? What is my life, if I am but to bow, to [-agree-] {+agree,+} and to
obey?
But I am done with this creed of corruption.
I am done with the monster of "We," the word of serfdom, of
plunder, of misery, falsehood and shame.
And now I see the face of god, and I raise this god over the
earth, this god whom men have sought since men came into being,
this god who will grant them joy and peace and pride.
This god, this one word:
"I."
[-PART TWELVE-]
{+Chapter Twelve+}
It was when I read the first of the books I found in my house
that I saw the word "I." And when I understood this word, the
book fell from my hands, and I wept, I who had never known tears.
I wept in deliverance and in pity for all mankind.
I understood the blessed thing which I had called my curse. I
understood why the best in me had been my sins and my
transgressions; and why I had never felt guilt in my sins. I
understood that centuries of chains and lashes will not kill the
spirit of man nor the sense of truth within him.
I read {+many+} books for many days. Then I called the Golden One,
and I told her what I had read and what I had learned. She looked
at me and the first words she spoke were:
"I love you."
Then I said:
"My dearest one, it is not proper for men to be without names.
There was a time when each man had a name of his own to
distinguish him from all other men. So let us choose our names.
If that which we have found is the corruption of solitude, then what can men wish for save corruption? If this is the great evil of being alone, than what is good and what is evil?
But we do not have to hasten. The days before us
are without end, like the forest.
We cannot understand this new life which we have found, yet it
seems so clear and so simple. When questions come to puzzle us,
we walk faster, then turn and forget all things as we watch the
Golden One following. The shadows of leaves fall upon their arms,
as they spread the branches apart, but their shoulders are in the
sun. The skin of their arms is like a blue [-mist.-] {+mist,+} but their
shoulders are white and glowing, as if the light fell not from
above, but rose from under their skin. We watch the leaf which
has fallen upon their shoulder, and it lies at the curve of their
neck, and a drop of dew glistens upon it like a jewel. They
approach us, and they stop, laughing, knowing what we think, and
they wait obediently, without questions, till it pleases us to
turn and go on.
We go on and we bless the earth under our feet. But questions
come to us again, as we walk in silence. If that which we have
found is the corruption of solitude, then what can men wish for
save corruption? If this is the great evil of being alone, then
what is good and what is evil?
Everything which comes from the many is good. Everything which
comes from one is evil.
[-This have-] {+Thus+} we {+have+} been taught with our first
breath. We have broken the law, but we have never doubted it. Yet
now, as we walk [-through-] the forest, we are learning to doubt.
There is no life for men, save in useful toil for the good of [-all-]
their brothers. But we lived not, when we toiled for our
brothers, we were only weary. There is no joy for men, save the
joy shared with all their brothers. But the only things which
taught us joy were the power [-we-] created in our wires, and the Golden
One. And both these joys belong to us alone, they come from us
alone, they bear no relation to [-all-] our brothers, and they do not
concern our brothers in any way. Thus do we wonder.
There is some error, one frightful error, in the thinking of men.
What is that error? We do not know, but the knowledge struggles
within us, struggles to be born.
Today, the Golden One stopped suddenly and said:
"We love you.
“...When you have established that one alternative is good and the other is evil, there is no justification for the choice of a mixture. There is no justification ever for choosing any part of what you know to be evil.”
“Work is love made visible.”
“What creates dispair is the imagination, which insists on predicting millions of moments, thousands of days, and so drains you that you cannot live the moment at hand.”
“In twenty years youll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you cant grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.”
“There is no such thing as expecting too much.”
“Dont expect anyone else to support you. Maybe youll have a trust fund. Maybe youll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either of them might run out.”
“Maybe you are here on earth to learn that life is what you make of it, and its to be enjoyed.”
“Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.”
“Most of us have trouble juggling. The woman who says she doesnt is someone whom I admire but have never met.”
“People create their own questions because they are afraid to look straight. All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, dont sit looking at it- walk.”
“Learn to be quiet enough to hear the genuine within yourself so that you can hear it in others.”
“Let nothing disturb thee, nothing affright thee; all things are passing; God never changeth.”
“But there isnt any second half of myself waiting to plug in and make me whole. Its there. Im already whole.”
“Some of these fine days I swear Ill throw away all my heavy luggage in the shape of hopes, and expectations, and walk the rest of the way with free limbs.”
“Force and mind are opposites; morality ends where a gun begins.”
“The hardest thing to explain is the glaringly evident which everybody had decided not to see.”
“The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt.”
