Quotes by Artie Lange

“I think it reminds me of my childhood, my father, ... I think people have the same reaction. It reminds you of what it was like to be a kid, where everything is carefree and fun.”

“That was always a dream of mine,”

“Frank [Sebastiano] is a real writer, ... He has two Emmys, one from SNL and the other from The Chris Rock Show. The only award I have is an FM-mmy.”

“my man, whatever he does.”

“intends to be at work on Monday morning. Probably more will be resolved then.”

“Frank [Sebastiano] is a real writer, ... He has two Emmys, one from SNL and the other from The Chris Rock Show . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.”

“[The character is] basically me if I didnt luck out and get into show business,”

“There is way more pressure than other roles where I got to do jokes and leave, ... Its a lot harder. You have to move the story along.”

“A big part of my living is my stand-up material on the road,”

“Its about softball, ... How as the guys get older and the relationships change, and softball is the only thing keeping them together.”

You haven’t lived till you’ve played Scrabble in a psych ward.

Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.

You know you have a gambling problem when its 4 A.M. at the Mirage Sports Book and youre walking around going, Hey you get the lacrosse scores?

When youre an adult, when times are good, entire years go by in what feels like the space of one season. But the worst trick time plays on you is just how slowly the worst times in your life take you to live through.

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

Im like the master of ceremonies being funny, and then sometimes people youre with, girlfriends and stuff, are like, God I wish I had the person on stage to be with all the time.