Quotes by Andy Weir

Hey,” Watney said over the radio, “Ive got an idea.”“Of course you do,” Lewis said. “What do you got?”“I could find something sharp in here and poke a hole in the glove of my EVA suit. I could use the escaping air as a thruster and fly my way to you. The source of thrust would be on my arm, so Id be able to direct it pretty easily.”“How does he come up with this shit?” Martinez interjected.“Hmm,” Lewis said. “Could you get 42 meters per second that way?”“No idea,” Watney said.“I cant see you having any control if you did that,” Lewis said. “Youd be eyeballing the intercept and using a thrust vector you can barely control.”“I admit its fatally dangerous,” Watney said. “But consider this: Id get to fly around like Iron Man.”“Well keep working on ideas,” Lewis said.“Iron Man, Commander. Iron Man.

Space is dangerous. Its what we do here. If you want to play it safe all the time, go join an insurance company.

Also, Ill lose half a liter of water per day to breathing until the humidity in the Hab reaches its maximum and water starts condensing on every surface. Then Ill be licking the walls. Yay.

If I could have anything, it would be a radio to ask NASA the safe path down the Ramp. Well, if I could have anything, it would be for the green-skinned yet beautiful Queen of Mars to rescue me so she can learn more about this Earth thing called “lovemaking.

Mars is not Earth. It doesnt have a thick atmosphere to bend light and carry particles that reflect light around corners. Its damn near a vacuum here. Once the sun isnt visible, Im in the dark. Phobos gives me some moonlight, but not enough to work with. Deimos is a little piece of crap thats no good to anyone.

One thing I have in abundance here are bags. Theyre not much different than kitchen trash bags, though Im sure they cost $50,000 because of NASA.

Designing a station with artificial gravity would undoubtedly be a daunting task. Space agencies would have to re-examine many reliable technologies under the light of the new forces these tools would have to endure. Space flight would have to take several steps back before moving forward again.

If someone offered me a free trip to the International Space Station, I would decline. I like Earth. I like the internet. I like Diet Coke. I have cats. I write about brave people - Im not one of them.

Back in the days of Apollo, sending humans to the moon was the only viable way to get the scientific data we wanted. But now, with our computer and robotics technology, theres very little an astronaut can do on Mars that a well-designed rover cant.

“I should be more focused on the first contact with intelligent aliens thing or the save all of humanity thing, but gosh darn it, I can spend a moment to be happy about being right when everyone said I was wrong.”

“WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.).”

“Sorry for the delay, Vogel said. I was required to make a bomb.”

“If it moves but shouldn’t: Duct tape. If it doesn’t move but should: WD-40. These two items cover all of your needs. Everything else in science is secondary.”

“Its a weird feeling, scientific breakthroughs. Theres no Eureka moment. Just a slow, steady progression toward a goal. But man, when you get to that goal it feels good.”

“Or maybe theyll board my ship and lay eggs in my brain. You can never be sure.”

“Problem is (follow me closely here, the science is pretty complicated), if I cut a hole in the Hab, the air wont stay inside anymore.”

“Evolution is extremely good at filling every nook in the ecosystem”