“People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them”
I cannot even have a
handkerchief without asking her for it; and as she is deaf, crippled,
and, what is worse, beginning to lose her memory, I languish in
perpetual destitution. But she exercises her domestic authority with
such quiet pride that I do not feel the courage to attempt a coup d'etat
against her government.
"My cravat! Therese!--do you hear?--my cravat! if you drive me wild like
this with your slow ways, it will not be a cravat I shall need, but a
rope to hang myself!"
"You must be in a very great hurry, Monsieur," replied Therese. "Your
cravat is not lost. Nothing is ever lost in this house, because I have
charge of everything. But please allow me the time at least to find it."
"Yet here," I thought to myself--"here is the result of half a century
of devotedness and self-sacrifice!... Ah! if by any happy chance this
inexorable Therese had once in her whole life, only once, failed in her
duty as a servant--if she had ever been at fault for one single instant,
she could never have assumed this inflexible authority over me, and I
should at least have the courage to resist her. But how can one resist
virtue? The people who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way
of taking advantage of them. Just look at Therese, for example; she
has not a single fault for which you can blame her! She has no doubt
of herself; nor of God, nor of the world. She is the valiant woman, the
wise virgin of Scripture; others may know nothing about her, but I
know her worth. In my fancy I always see her carrying a lamp, a humble
kitchen lamp, illuminating the beams of some rustic roof--a lamp which
will never go out while suspended from that meagre arm of hers, scraggy
and strong as a vine-branch.
"Therese, my cravat! Don't you know, wretched woman, that to-day is the
first Thursday in June, and that Mademoiselle Jeanne will be waiting for
me? The schoolmistress has certainly had the parlour floor vigorously
waxed: I am sure one can look at oneself in it now; and it will be quite
a consolation for me when I slip and break my old bones upon it--which
is sure to happen sooner or later--to see my rueful countenance
reflected in it as in a looking-glass. Then taking for my model that
amiable and admirable hero whose image is carved upon the handle of
Uncle Victor's walking-stick, I will control myself so as not to make
too ugly a grimace.
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
It is horrible to relate:
I was stealing from the dowry of Jeanne! And when the crime had been
consummated I set myself again sturdily to the task of cataloguing,
until Jeanne came to consult me in regard to something about a dress or
a trousseau. I could not possibly understand just what she was
talking about, through my total ignorance of the current vocabulary of
dress-making and linen-drapery. Ah! if a bride of the fourteenth century
had come to talk to me about the apparel of her epoch, then, indeed, I
should have been able to understand her language! But Jeanne does not
belong to my time, and I have to send her to Madame de Gabry, who on
this important occasion will take the place of her mother.
... Night has come! Leaning from the window, we gaze at the vast sombre
stretch of the city below us, pierced with multitudinous points of
light. Jeanne presses her hand to her forehead as she leans upon the
window-bar, and seems a little sad. And I say to myself as I watch her:
All changes even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we
leave behind us is a part of ourselves: we must die to one life before
we can enter into another!
And as if answering my thought, the young girl murmurs to me,
"My guardian, I am so happy; and still I feel as if I wanted to cry!"
The Last Page
August 21, 1869.
Page eighty-seven.... Only twenty lines more and I shall have finished
my book about insects and flowers. Page eighty-seventh and last.... "As
we have already seen, the visits of insects are of the utmost importance
to plants; since their duty is to carry to the pistils the pollen of
the stamens. It seems also that the flower itself is arranged and made
attractive for the purpose of inviting this nuptial visit. I think I
have been able to show that the nectary of the plant distils a sugary
liquid which attracts the insects and obliges it to aid unconsciously
in the work of direct or cross fertilisation. The last method of
fertilisation is the more common. I have shown that flowers are coloured
and perfumed so as to attract insects, and interiorly so constructed as
to offer those visitors such a mode of access that they cannot penetrate
into the corolla without depositing upon the stigma the pollen with
which they have been covered.
Time deals gently only with those who take it gently.
The light recedes farther and farther away as
the journey lengthens; I have now almost reached the bottom of the last
slope; and, nevertheless, each time I turn to look back I see the glow
as bright as ever.
"You, Madame, who knew Clementine as a young wife and mother after her
hair had become grey, you cannot imagine her as I see her still; a young
fair girl, all pink and white. Since you have been so kind as to be my
guide, dear Madame, I ought to tell you what feelings were awakened in
me by the sight of that grave to which you led me. Memories throng back
upon me. I feel myself like some old gnarled and mossy oak which awakens
a nestling world of birds by shaking its branches. Unfortunately
the song my birds sing is old as the world, and can amuse no one but
myself."
"Tell me your souvenirs," said Madame de Gabry. "I cannot read your
books, because they are written only for scholars; but I like very much
to have you talk to me, because you know how to give interest to the
most ordinary things in life. And talk to me just as you would talk to
an old woman. This morning I found three grey threads in my hair."
"Let them come without regret, Madame," I replied. "Time deals gently
only with those who take it gently. And when in some years more you will
have a silvery fringe under your black fillet, you will be reclothed
with a new beauty, less vivid but more touching than the first; and you
will find your husband admiring your grey tresses as much as he did that
black curl which you gave him when about to be married, and which he
preserves in a locket as a thing sacred.... These boulevards are broad
and very quiet. We can talk at our ease as we walk along. I will tell
you, to begin with, how I first made the acquaintance of Clementine's
father. But you must not expect anything extraordinary, or anything even
remarkable; you would be greatly deceived.
"Monsieur de Lessay used to live in the second storey of an old house in
the Avenue de l'Observatoire, having a stuccoed front, ornamented with
antique busts, and a large unkept garden attached to it. That facade and
that garden were the first images my child-eyes perceived; and they will
be the last, no doubt, which I still see through my closed eyelids when
the Inevitable Day comes.
“You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; in just the same way, you learn to love by loving.”
“I prefer the folly of enthusiasm to the indifference of wisdom.”
“Chance is perhaps the pseudonym of God when he does not wish to sign his work.”
“Without the utopians of other times, men would still live in caves, miserable and naked;...utopia is the principle of all progress, adn the essay into a better world.”
“Everything starts as somebodys daydream.”
“Wandering re-establishes the original harmony which once existed between man and the universe.”
“If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.”
“If it were absolutely necessary to choose, I would rather be guilty of an immoral act than of a cruel one”
“An optimist is a person who sees only the lights in the picture, whereas a pessimist sees only the shadows. An idealist, however, is one who sees the light and the shadows, but in addition sees something else: the possibility of changing the picture, of making the lights prevail over the shadows.”
“There are very honest people who do not think that they have had a bargain unless they have cheated a merchant”
“What frightens us most in a madman is his sane conversation.”
“One thing above all gives charm to mens thoughts, and this is unrest. A mind that is not uneasy irritates and bores me.”
“It is by acts and not by ideas that people live.”
“The good critic is he who relates the adventures of his soul among masterpieces”
“The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity.”
“Silence is the wit of fools.”
“The books that everybody admires are those that nobody reads.”