Quotes by Alan Bennett

“Children always assume the sexual lives of their parents come to a grinding halt at their conception.”

“Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.”

“Life is rather like a tin of sardines, were all of us looking for the key”

“Life is like a box of sardines and we are all looking for the key”

“Im all in favour of free expression provided its kept rigidly under control.”

“No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.”

“Those who have known the famous are publicly debriefed of their memories, knowing as their own dusk falls that they will only be remembered for remembering someone else.”

“I was an only child. I lost both my parents. By the time I was twenty I was bald. Im homosexual. In the way of circumstances and background to transcend I had everything an artist could possibly want. It was practically a blueprint. I was programmed to be a novelist or a playwright. But Im not.”

“Life is generally something that happens elsewhere.”

“If you think squash is a competitive activity, try flower arranging.”

“If you told it the other way round in a film, it would seem like a tract, ... The message would be too much in the foreground. Its human stories, those are the ones youre interested in. So the argument, as it were, is submerged and thats the way it should be, really. Youve got to get the audience interested in the lives of the boys.”

“We have smaller defensive ends, but theyre quick. Theyll be OK. Everybody knows their job, and our defense is better this year. If we play better in the second half of the game this year, well do better.”

“We have a better quarterback this year,”

“Last year we were more of a running team. This year were more versatile.”

“Cancer, like any other illness, is a bore.”

“Papers like the Mail make out that people are prurient and outraged; I dont think people really care.”

“that interest comes from my partner Rupert. But I used to do it when I was young and a lot of that fed into The History Boys.”

“He says some things which are taken as gospel, when they ought to be disputed. When he writes Courage is no good / It means not scaring others, you want to say that just isnt true. There is more to courage than that.”

“Hey, this is exciting. At least well always remember this anniversary.”

“We were put to Dickens as children but it never quite took. That unremitting humanity soon had me cheesed off.”