If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in piety. A chilling thought. Or funny.

The funny thing about having all this so-called success is that behind it is a certain horrible emptiness.

I call myself the Amusement Park. That's because I'm funny and scary at the same time.

I find, when you're an optimist, life has a funny way of looking after you.

“Time was a funny and fickle thing. Sometimes there was never enough of it, and other times it stretched out endlessly.”

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

“Funny that. We live in islands of Hours and we never seem to have time enough for anything...”

Whenever I'm in the U.K., people say I have an American accent. Which is, obviously, funny.

It's a funny business. I kind of compare it to baseball. I'm always looking for a home run.

I just write what I think is funny. I don't care who watches it.