Quotes by Thomm Quackenbush

Even in concept, angels are unsettling. They’re like drones, totally mindlessly following the will of God. The only difference between the Heavenly angels and demons is that the demons opted to follow after a different queen bee. So, you have these eyeball speckled, part animal monsters who exist only to worship and obey God. They don’t have a moral compass, they just act.

Like the discovery of most things - love and religion especially - she maintained the childs arrogant wonder than no one had understood it before her and, even if they had, they could not embrace it as passionately as she.

Santa is like a queen bee. All the elves are his drones, who exist to feed him royal jelly, which I guess would be milk and cookies. If an elf escapes and eats royal cookies, it will turn into another Santa. That’s what all those mall Santas are. They’re trying to start their own festive colonies.

I get that Christmas is generally schmaltzy. I understand that it is used as a cynical cash grab. I know how far it is from what Jesus would have wanted. Nevertheless, I like that people put forth some effort to see one another during this season, that some people shake out of their commonplace anthood and toward sainthood.

Christmas was gluing cotton balls to Santa’s beard in Coke ads, sneaking candy canes off the tree daily (that my parents replaced every few nights), enough gift-wrap to wallpaper a room, the terror and delight of knowing a magical being would enter my home while I slept.

Even if one is doing nothing more than eating Chinese food with ones Muslim and Jewish friends (dont order the pork lo mein), being together on the longest nights of the year, as the cold sets into the ground and makes it crunch, the warmth inside is infectious and transcendent.

The whole concept of some stranger making his way down our chimney - not that we had one - suggested burglary more readily than generosity. Any Santa who tried it would have gotten a bullet in his holly, jolly keister.

She wished she had eyes like her sister, huge and bright, constantly straddling the line between terrified child and ingénue.

The Hermit is an important tarot card with much to tell us, but he tends not to be so welcome around the bonfire.

He regarded Huginn as only slightly more dangerous than most pets, in that he understood why people had pets but harbored the paranoia they would one day eat their owners. True, it kept Eliot from even having a pet larger than his fist, but it also kept him from being kibble.

We do not require man’s religion for salvation. We do not believe in anything that forces people to keep their places in this world.

Hes very good at chaining girls. He can make cold steel feel like silk.

Being certain one is alive isnt something to which one pays mind. If you could ask the question, you were fine. If you could not, hopefully you had a cozy coffin.

A goddess does not need to eat and does so only for her pleasure.

You were abducted by space aliens. Of course you want egg rolls.

That these people are wandering around, looking for aliens to justify the emptiness inside them and let them feel special without effort, creeps me out.

If it took eons to get to the edge of ones galactic yard, she could not imagine the neighbors dropping by for a casual visit, especially since the heavenly houses were uninhabitable well into the next state.

If you knew the mercy I am showing by not dismembering you where you stand for getting in my way, you would not stop thanking me.

I know for a fact the first UFOs reported in modern times, just before the crash at Roswell, were boomerang shaped and were reported as flying saucers to describe the motion of their flight, like a saucer skipping over water. Yet immediately after, people saw and photographed saucer-shaped objects. Boomerang-shaped objects were rarely seen. Now people mostly report seeing large triangles instead of discs or boomerangs, because that is what they are told to expect to see.

He dances all night, utterly naked and composed of nothing but six and a half feet of pale sinew. He could dance to a field of crickets, to the sound of rain on a tin roof, to a stampede.