You love me. Real or not real?I tell him, Real.
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What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again.
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I can feel Peeta press his forehead into my temple and he asks, So now that youve got me, what are you going to do with me? I turn into him. Put you somewhere you cant get hurt.
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And then he gives me a smile that just seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me.
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Peeta, how come I never know when youre having a nightmare?” I say.“I dont know. I dont think I cry out or thrash around or anything. I just come to, paralyzed with terror,” he says.“You should wake me,” I say, thinking about how I can interrupt his sleep two or three times on a bad night. About how long it can take to calm me down.“Its not necessary. My nightmares are usually about losing you,” he says. “Im okay once I realize youre here.
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Sometimes when Im alone, I take the pearl from where it lives in my pocket and try to remember the boy with the bread, the strong arms that warded off nightmares on the train, the kisses in the arena.
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You have a... remarkable memory.I remember everything about you. Youre the one who wasnt paying attention.
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We could do it, you know.What?Leave the district. Run off. Live in the woods. You and I, we could make it.
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But I have to confess, Im glad you two had at least a few months of happiness together.Im not glad, says Peeta. I wish we had waited until the whole thing was done officially.This takes even Caesar aback. Surely even a brief time is better than no time?Maybe Id think that, too, Caesar, says Peeta bitterly, If it werent for the baby.
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I just...I just miss him. And I hate being so alone.
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He’s dozed off again, but I kiss him awake, which seems to startle him. Then he smiles as if he’d be happy to lie there gazing at me forever.
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Not like this. He wanted it to be real.
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Youll never be able to let him go. Youll always feel wrong about being with me.
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Katniss: I’m coming back into focus when Caesar asks him if he has a girlfriend back home. Peeta: (Gives an unconvincing shake of head.)Caesar: Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what’s her name?Peeta: Well, there is this one girl. I’ve had a crush on her ever since I can remember. But I’m pretty sure she didn’t know I was alive until the reaping.Caesar: She have another fellow?Peeta: I don’t know, but a lot of boys like her.Caesar: So, here’s what you do. You win, you go home. She can’t turn you down, eh?Peeta: I don’t think it’s going to work out. Winning… won’t help in my case.Caesar: Why ever not?Peeta: Because… because… she came here with me.Caesar: Oh, that is a piece of bad luck.Peeta: It’s not good.Caesar: Well, I don’t think any of us can blame you. It’d be hard not to fall for that young lady. She didn’t know?Peeta: Not until now.
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Having an eye for beauty isnt the same thing as a weakness...except possibly when it comes to you.
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Because...because...she came here with me.
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That what I need to survive is not Gales fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that.
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Sometimes things happen to people and theyre not equipped to deal with them.
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An ability to look into the confusing mess of life and see things for what they are.
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Because Im selfish. Im a coward. Im the kind of girl who, when she might actually be of use, would run to stay alive and leave those who couldnt follow to suffer and die.
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