Quotes by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

He stopped to rest at a cart selling nuts and candy, bought himself some Jelly Bellys, flirted just enought with the Mexican cutie working there to convince her pull out the banana-flavored one. Although he liked his Jelly Bellys mixed up, he didnt like banana, but, since it took too much effort to pull them out himself, he generally tried to talk someone else into doing it. If that didnt work, he just ate em.- Kenny Traveler

When did my house turn into a hangout for every grossly overpaid, terminally pampered professional football player in northern Illinois?We like it here, Jason said. It reminds us of home.Plus, no women around. Leandro Collins, the Bears first-string tight end emerged from the office munching on a bag of chips. Theres times when you need a rest from the ladies.Annabelle shot out her arm and smacked him in the side of the head. Dont forget who youre talking to.Leandro had a short fuse, and hed been known to take out a ref here and there when he didnt like a call, but the tight end merely rubbed the side of his head and grimaced. Just like my mama.Mine, too, Tremaine said with happy nod.Annabelle spun on Heath. Their mother! Im thirty-one years old, and I remind them of their mothers.You act like my mother, Sean pointed out, unwisely as it transpired, because he got a swat in the head next.

Chip, I know you dont understand this, but Id take it as a personal favor if youd stop trying to marry your mother off to my brothers.

Who the hell is that?!Some call her Satan. Others, Beelzebub. She goes by many names.

I hate to admit this, but some days hearing about other peoples problems actually cheers me up.

The Cinderella story in reverse. I only wish there were ashes in the fireplace so I could order you to sweep them out.

It was a bitch living with your old English teacher, especially when your old English teacher wasn’t old at all, and he had exactly the kind of body that most appealed to her, tall and lean, broad in the shoulder, narrow at the hip. Then there was his brain. It had taken her a lot of years to find that particular part of a man appealing, but she’d finally gotten in the habit, and she couldn’t seem to give it up.

Anything worth having is worth fighting for.

He could deal with his guilt all by himself. Guilt didnt add up to love, an emotion she was done with forever.

I love you guilty. It makes it easier for me to wrap you around my finger.

Damn it! Are you so stupid you dont know what Im going to do to you?Her eyes bore into his without flinching. Are you so stupid you havent figured out yet that it doesnt matter?

She reached into the pocket of her dress and threw the small stack of bills at him. They fluttered to the ground like broken dreams. I hope you choke onevery penny.Pick that up.She drew back her arm and slapped him as hard as she could.

Youre not having sex with him. I know these guys, and you dont. Im trusting you with Claudia Reeshman. You need to trust me about Dean Robillard. She wouldnt let him off that easily. Youre looking for a wife. Maybe Im just looking for a little fun. If you need fun, he shot back, Ill give you fun. She was stunned.

In case you’re not bright enough to figure it out, there’s a real upside to having a sinner like me answer your phone. I lie, and your conscience stays clear.

And no matter what anybody says, I dont believe all this trouble started when women got the vote. As far as Im concerned, it goddamn well got started when you taught each other how to read.

I love you, Daisy. I love you so much I hurt.

Damn. It looks to me like I just missed the best reunion since Sherman got together with Atlanta.

If I told you, you might be forced to lie about it. Not that you arent really good at it, but why put an old man in that position?

wouldnt you like to make sure all those millions you give to Uncle Sam went to schools and hospitals instead of nuclear warheads?As a matter of fact, he would. Playgrounds for big kids, preschool programs to little ones, and mandatory LASIK surgery for NFL refs.

Eat your heart out. Oh, wait. You can’t. It’s not organic.