We straighten , bu our snickering is barely contained as we attempt to focus our attention on a picture of a discarded Coke can. This guys lady love is kind of a slob, dont you think? he whispers.I cover my mouth with my hands again.A reaaaaaaaal litterbug.Stop it, I hiss. My eyes are watering. Ohmygod look at this one! How did he get her toenail clippings?If you were my girl, he whispers, Id take creepy pictures of your trash when I knew you werent looking.If you were my girl, I whisper back, Id put the creepy pictures in a foreign museum so you wouldnt know that I take creepy pictures.
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That guys. Sideburns. You like him?My back squirms. Youve asked me that before.What I meant was, he says, flustered. Your feelings havent changed? Since youve been
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You ought to stop listening to stereotypes and start forming your own opinions.
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St. Clair gets a crush on Anna. Hes torn between her and Ellie, and he spends so much time running between them that he hardly has time left for Josh. And the more time that Josh spends alone, the more he realizes how alone he actually is. All of his friends will be gone the next year. Josh grows increasingly antagonistic toward school, which makes Rashmi increasingly antagonistic toward him, which makes him increasingly antagonistic toward her. And shes upset because Elie dropped her as a friend, and Meredith is upset because now St. Clair likes two girls who arent her, and Anna is upset because St. Clair is leading her on, and then St. Clairs mom gets cancer. Its a freaking soap opera.
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Thank you for helping my sister,” he says.I lean forward, mimicking his position. “I’m happy to.”Calliope leans out her window. “STOP FLIRTING AND GET BACK TO WORK.
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Its so Hogwarts.
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A blank canvas...has unlimited possibilities.
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We can’t stop smiling at each other. I can’t believe that adults get to do this every day. And I don’t even mean sex, though it’s wonderful, but things like this. Brushing our teeth at the same sink. Do adults realize how lucky they are? Or do they forget that these small moments are actually small miracles? I don’t want to ever forget.
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I have a rule.Elaborate.The statue is still warm from the previous visitors. I ask myself, if the worst happened—if I did get knocked up-would I be embarrassed to tell my child who his father was? If the answer is anywhere even remotely close to yes, then theres no way.He nods slowly. Thats a good rule.
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It gets worse. Josh tell her that he loves her. She says it back. He touches her. She touches him back. And then theyre losing their virginity on the floor of her bedroom beside her pet rabbit, Isis. A rabbit.Josh literally lost his virginity in front of a metaphor for sex.
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And then theres the other thing.The thing Im trying to ignore. The thing I shouldnt want, the thing I cant have.And hes standing in front of me right now.So what do I wish for? Something Im not sure I want? Someone Im not sure I need? Or someone I know I cant have?Screw it. Let the fates d
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I’m beginning to think that maybe it’s okay to be a blank canvas. Maybe it’s okay that my future is unknown. And maybe,” I say with another smile, “it’s okay to be inspired by the people who do know their future.
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I dont know what I believe. I guess that makes me a Christmas Tree Agnostic.
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Because thats the thing about depression. When I feel it deeply, I dont want to let it go. It becomes a comfort. I want to cloak myself under its heavy weight and breathe it into my lungs. I want to nurture it, grow it, cultivate it. Its mine. I want to check out with it, drift asleep wrapped in its arms and not wake up for a long, long time.
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That’s the thing about depression. When I feel it deeply, I don’t want to let it go. It becomes a comfort. I want to cloak myself under its heavy weight and breathe it into my lungs. I want to nurture it, grow it, cultivate it. It’s mine. I want to check out with it, drift asleep wrapped in its arms and not wake up for a long, long time.
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They blinked in the dusk of the setting sun, a reminder that light was a recurring state.
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I doubted myself, and that made me doubt you. But you weren’t the problem. You were never the problem. I should have trusted you, but I didn’t, because I couldn’t trust myself.
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He’s so close, yet so far away.” – Anna
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Confidence, darling. He leans across the table and touches a finger to my cheek. You could learn something from me, you know.
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I just cant fathom why anyone would stand on a ledge when theres a respectable amount of walking space right next to it.
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