Quotes by Nick Hornby

Youre not allowed to say anything about books because theyre books, and books are, you know, God.

I personally find that for domestic purposes, the Trivial Pursuit system works better than Dewey.

There isnt so much to be afraid of, out there. I can remember thinking it was funny to find that out, on the last night of my life; Id spent the rest of it being afraid of everything.

We spent all those years talking about stuff we had in common, and the last few months noticing all the ways we were different and it broke both of our hearts.

Jess thought for a moment. You know those films where people fight up the top of the Empire State Building or up a mountain or whatever? And theres always that bit when the baddie slips off and the hero tries to save him, but, like, the sleeve of this jacket tears off and goes over and you hear him all the way down. Aaaaaaaaagh. Thats what I want to do. You want to watch me plunge to my doom. Id like to know that Ive made the effort. I want to show people the torn sleeve.

There were about seventy-nine squillion people in the world, and if you were very lucky, you would end up being loved by fifteen or twenty of them.

Look at all the things that can go wrong for men. There’s the nothing-happening-at-all problem, the too-much-happening-too-soon problem, the dismal-droop-after-a-promising-beginning problem; there’s the size-doesn’t-matter-except-in-my-case problem, the failing-to-deliver-the-goods problem…and what do women have to worry about? A handful of cellulite? Join the club. A spot of I-wonder-how-I-rank? Ditto.

One day, maybe not in the next few weeks, but certainly in the conceivable future, someone will be able to refer to me without using the word arse somewhere in the sentence.

It struck him that how you spent Christmas was a message to the world about where you were in life, some indication of how deep a hole you had managed to burrow for yourself

I fell in love with football as I was later to fall in love with women: suddenly, inexplicably, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain or disruption it would bring with it.

When someone uses the phrase ‘the prick one’, and you know immediately that this is a synonym for the word ‘metaphorically’, you are entitled to wonder whether you know the speaker too well. You are even entitled to wonder whether you should know her at all.

Tucker, please put him down, said Annie. Youre frightening Jackson.Hes not, said Jackson. Its cool. I dont like that guy anyway. Punch him, Dad.

Women who disapprove of men - and theres plenty to disapprove of - should remember how we started out, and how far we had to travel.

[H]ow was I supposed to get excited about the oppression of females if they couldnt be trusted to stay upright during the final minutes of a desperately close promotion campaign?

There were only seven years between the first and last Beatles albums. Thats nothing, seven years, when you think of how their hairstyles changed and their music changed. Some bands now go seven years without hardly bothering to do anything.

Have you got any soul? a woman asks the next afternoon. That depends, I feel like saying; some days yes, some days no. A few days ago I was right out; now Ive got loads, too much, more than I can handle. I wish I could spread it a bit more evenly, I want to tell her, get a better balance, but I cant seem to get it sorted. I can see she wouldnt be interested in my internal stock control problems though, so I simply point to where I keep the soul I have, right by the exit, just next to the blues.

Of course Tucker Crowe was in pain when he made [the record], but he couldnt just march into a recording studio and start howling. Hed have sounded mad and pathetic. He had to calm the rage, tame it and shape it so that it could be contained in the tight-fitting songs. Then he had to dress it up so that it sounded more like itself.

Im never going to complain about receiving free early copies of books, because clearly theres nothing to complain about, but it does introduce a rogue element into ones otherwise carefully plotted reading schedule. ...Being a reader is sort of like being president, except reading involves fewer state dinners, usually. You have this agenda you want to get through, but you get distracted by life events, e.g., books arriving in the mail/World War III, and you are temporarly deflected from your chosen path.

Hey, great idea: if you have kids, give your partner reading vouchers next Christmas. Each voucher entitles the bearer to two hours reading time *while the kids are awake*. It might look like a cheapskate present, but parents will appreciate that it costs more in real terms than a Lamborghini.

So this is supposed to be about the how, and when, and why, and what of reading -- about the way that, when reading is going well, one book leads to another and to another, a paper trail of theme and meaning; and how, when its going badly, when books dont stick or take, when your mood and the mood of the book are fighting like cats, youd rather do anything but attempt the next paragraph, or reread the last one for the tenth time.