Its funny how you can forget everything except people loving you. Maybe thats why humans find it so hard getting over love affairs. Its not the pain theyre getting over, its the love.
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But grief makes a monster out of us sometimes . . . and sometimes you say and do things to the people you love that you cant forgive yourself for.
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When I turn around, he cups my face in his hands and he kisses me so deeply that I dont know who is breathing for who, but his mouth and tongue taste like warm honey. I dont know how long it lasts, but when I let go of him, I miss it already.
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He is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen and its not about his face, but the life force I can see in him. Its the smile and the pure promise of everything he has to offer. Like hes saying, Here I am world, are you ready for so much passion and beauty and goodness and love and every other word that should be in the dictionary under the word life? Except this boy is dead, and the unnaturalness of it makes me want to pull my hair out with Tate and Narnie and Fitz and Judes grief all combined. It makes me want to yell at the God that I wish I didnt believe in. For hogging him all to himself. I want to say, You greedy God. Give him back. I needed him here.
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When it was over, she gathered him in her arms. And told him the terrible irony of her life.That she had wanted to be dead all those years while her brother had been alive. That had been her sin.And this was her penance.Wanting to live when everyone else seemed dead.
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Some of us werent born for rewards, Froi. We were born for sacrifices.
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It’s against the rules of humanity to believe there is nothing we can do.
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What if shes all I give you in this life of ours, my love? she asked quietly. Then Ill shout at the goddess in fury, he said fiercely. Ill beg to know why Ive been given so much when other men have so little.
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This is the best night of my life, Raffy says, crying.Raffy, half our House has burnt down, I say wearily. We dont have a kitchen.Why do you always have to be so pessimistic? she asks. We can double up in our rooms and have a barbecue every night like the Cadets.Silently I vow to keep Raffy around for the rest of my life.
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Are you an idiot, or an idiot? Gargarin hissed.The first one. I really resent being called the second.
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Whats with what youre wearing? Griggs asks while we stand outside waiting for the others.Its pretty hideous, isnt it? I say.Dont force me to look at it, he says. Its see-through.That kills conversation for a couple of seconds.
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I didnt know you had a girlfriend, Griggs. Anson Choi feigns surprise. Whats her name?I didnt actually catch her name, Griggs continues.Lily, Raffaela says over her shoulder and this time I give her a sideways look.Great to know that Im in love with a girl with a cool name.Its Taylors middle name, Raffaela calls back again.
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I cant believe I said it out loud. The truth doesnt set you free, you know. It makes you feel awkward and embarrassed and defenseless and red in the face and horrified and petrified and vulnerable. But free? I dont feel free. I feel like shit.
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Truth is dangerous.
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Dont believe in God. Love the world just the way it is.
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Its like you have a plan and someone comes along and makes you want to change it all, but you still like your first plan, no matter how fantastic the second one makes you feel.
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So what does the winner get in the end? Tate asked.They get to sit around with the losers and say, I am King Xavier of the world. Repeat after me.And me? Tate asked.You get to be my queen.How come youre the leader of the community? Narnie asked, almost smiling. Why cant Tate be?Webb looked at his sister, grinning. Why cant you, Narnie?Fitz leaned his head on Narnies shoulder. And Ill be your queen?You can be the eunuch, Jude said, shoving him out of the way, and Ill be her prince. He bowed and took Narnies hand, kissing it, and their eyes met. It was awkward for a moment until Narnie looked away.
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Sir Topher finally looked up. “Because any hope beyond that, my boy, would be too much. I feared we would drown in it.”Then I choose to drown,” Finnikin said. “In hope. Rather than float into nothing.
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Then I choose to drown. In hope. Rather than float into nothing.
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He hesitated, remembering something Finnikin had said to him on their journey. That somehow, even in the worst of times, the tiniest fragments of good survive. It was the grip in which one held those fragments that counted.
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