The word maybe was beginning to annoy me, because the only thing that was fixed was that maybe would be with me forever.
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Not a beauty queen. Not one of those. You know the ones. She was real.
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I had to decide what I was going to do, and what I was going to be.I was standing there, waiting for someone to do something , till I realised the person I was waiting for was myself.
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A happening was looming. It was out there somewhere beyond the regular enclosed life that I had been living. It was out there, not waiting, but existing. Being. Perhaps it was only slightly wondering if I would come to it.
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For a good ten minutes or so we stand there with the flashlight burning the grave with light. The whole time, Im trying to guess where and exactly how he died and, more to the point, realizing that poor old Millas been without him for sixty-years. I can tell. No other man has entered her life. Not the way her Jimmy did. Shes been waiting sixty years for Jimmy to come back. And now he has.
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The happening that happened was that I met this girl ...
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I love the laughter of this night. Our footsteps run, and I dont want them to end. I want to run and laugh and feel like this forever. I want to avoid any awkward moment when the realness of reality sticks its fork into our flesh, leaving us standing there, together. I want to stay here, in this moment, and never go to other places, where we dont know what to say or what to do. For now, just let us run. We run straight through the laughter of the night.
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A final dirty joke.Another human punch line
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A small fact:You are going to die....does this worry you?
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Well, this is basically the end, so the answers should be in these next few pages. I doubt they will surprise you, but you never know. I dont know how smart or thick you are. You could be Albert Einstein for all I know, or some literary prizewinner, or maybe youre just middle of the road like me.
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When you looked out my window you could see the whole city crouched under a blanket of car smog.
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Failure has been my best friend as a writer. It tests you, to see if you have what it takes to see it through.
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“She wanted none of those days to end, and it was always with disappointment that she watched the darkness stride forward. ”
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“Grimly, she realized that clocks dont make a sound that even remotely resembles ticking, tocking. It was more the sound of a hammer, upside down, hacking methodically at the earth. It was the sound of a grave. ”
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“Its funny, dont you think, how time seems to do a lot of things? It flies, it tells, and worst of all, it runs out.”
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“It makes me wonder, Do we spend most of our days trying to remember or forget things? Do we spend most of our time running towards or away from our lives? I dont know.”
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“It is early, early morning. Its that time when its still dark but you know the day is coming. Blue is bleeding through black. Stars are dying.”
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“My own eyes try to sleep, but they dont. They stay wide awake as time snarls forward and silence drops down, like measured thought.”
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“Time will tell, I suppose, or at least, these pages will.”
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“Usually we walk around constantly believing ourselves. Im okay we say. Im alright. But sometimes the truth arrives on you and you cant get it off. Thats when you realize that sometimes it isnt even an answer--its a question. Even now, I wonder how much of my life is convinced.”
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