Quotes by Lisa Simpson

“Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.”

“You cant create a monster, then whine when it stomps on a few buildings”

“Oh no, the dead have risen and theyre voting Republican.”

“Is your remarkably sexist drivel intentional, or just some horrible mistake?”

“Im no theologian. I dont know who or what God is. All I know is hes more powerful than Mom and Dad put together.”

“Its not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV.”

“A man who envies our family is a man who needs help.”

“Its naive to think you can change a person--except maybe that boy who works in the library.”

“Dad, is it all right to take things from people you dont like?”

“Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and Chinese food, but I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!”

“Life is a paradox, youre damned if you do and damned if you dont”

“Always blame it on the guy who doesnt speak English”

“Operator! Give me the number for 911”

“Remember as far as anyone knows, were a nice normal family”

“Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.”

“Its just hard not to listen to TV: its spent so much more time raising us than you have.”

“Bart, having never received any words of encouragement myself, Im not sure how theyre supposed to sound. But here goes: I believe in you.”

“[To be sure, Motherboard never left the confines of the SOE stables after Simpson couched the project, citing economic reasons. Moreover,] the end product was a much-larger-scale endeavor, ... It had nothing to do with editorial content.”

“Sometimes I wonder if were having a dramatic impact on the productivity of the American people, ... Ive heard anecdotally that weve been banned in some workplaces.”

“I guess it beats bagging groceries at the corner store,”