Quotes by Kinky Friedman

“Id felt that a man without a woman was like a neck without a pain”

“Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder”

“Whatever were going to do, were going to make it fun.”

“I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didnt hold em under long enough.”

“Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.”

“If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.”

“You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.”

“If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, Ill reduce the speed limits to 54.95!”

“A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life.”

“Why the Hell Not?”

“I admit I was drinking a Guinness . . . but I did not swallow.”

“In order to do this, we are gong to have to leave one governor behind. I dont see how the people who created the problem are going to fix it.”

“I dont see how the people who created the problem can fix it. Texas is worth fighting for, and the best way to fight is to get the politicians out of politics.”

“Young people are the key to this election.”

“Students dont know who Mark Twain was because he wasnt on the test.”

“Heres my explanation. I was drinking it ... but I did not swallow.”

“Weve had to be creative to get on the ballot.”

“How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?”

“This is a bad idea. Its like having Dubai run the ports of America. It means well be paying tolls to a cowardly Spanish company for 70 years.”

The best fiction is true.