That is what all creatures great and small are made of. Leftover stardust. An atom exploded, and all the dust became the planets, the stars...and us. Thats all anything amounts to.
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Its shocking, isnt it, that a kiss could have led to something so big and violent and full of light as a human being? It makes me dizzy to think of all the things that start that way. Whole families, whole countries, whole worlds. Isnt it strange how a whole life can begin with a little spark?
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For the next couple of weeks she held Peter like a secret in her heart, lying right under her necklace. I could see him written on her face, and Tik Tok, too, seemed to catch shadows of him, because hed stop to stare at her, puzzled, as if hed just seen the boy flit across her eyes-seen the ghost of the kiss lingering for a second on the skin of her neck before disappearing.
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And to Tiger Lily he suddenly, inexplicably, seemed older than her, and wiser, and the thought hit her hard that it wasnt fair, because shed suffered, and there he was, looking like he knew so much more than she ever would.
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You never could tell when someone would stop growing old in Neverland. For Tik Tok, it had been after wrinkles had walked long deep tracks across his face, but for many people, it was much younger. Some people said it occurred when the most important thing that would ever happen to you triggered something inside that stopped you from moving forward.
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Ill teach you, Tiger Lily offered with a shrug of her shoulders.Did your mother teach you? he asked.I dont have a mother, she said. Like you.For some reason, Peter was glad to hear it.
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Peter sank. Id give anything to see time.
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She guarded herself like a secret.
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When Peter made mistakes, Wendy cheered for him anyway. One afternoon he beat her and everyone else in a race organized by Slightly. She only laughed and squeezed his wrist with easy affection and told him how fast he was. She was so undeterred by losing that it made the boys wonder if winning was exactly what they’d thought it was or if in England it was different.
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People say Im not much of a girl either, Tiger Lily said.She thought of Tik Tok, who was fond of saying that people were all bits of each thing, boy and girl.
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She let the jealousy slip out of her fingertips.
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You may think my jealousy would have been enormous during those days after Peter gave Tiger Lily the smallest kiss on the neck. And you would be right. But these moments were swallowed by a bigger emotion, my tenderness for Tiger Lily, which had grown to take up most of the space in my body, without me knowing it. I cant say I didnt dream that this was a passing moment of infatuation, and that eventually Peter would notice and pick me-as impossible as that might have seemed considering my size. But I felt protective of Tiger Lily. I felt that just by watching over her, I could somehow keep her safe. And I wanted to keep Peter safe too.
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And always, I could see that, despite his weakness for her or because of it, he seemed uncatchable, as if he might slip away at any moment.
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Something about you makes me feel like I can tell you things like that. You’re so still. It’s like, you’ll just hear it.” He smiled wryly. “I can’t even hear what I’m thinking most of the time,” he said, his brow wrinkling. “My brain’s noisy.
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You looked strange climbing in the tree like that.Tiger Lily pulled her braids between her fingers, her sudden self-consciousness feeling foreign and strange to her. I didnt do it to look nice, she said.But you do care.Tiger Lily studied the tree and decided if she did care, she would now choose not to. I dont, she said.All girls do, he added, pushing the point.You must not know many girls.I know a million, Peter said, dark and serious. There was a long awkward silence, but if Peter regretted his words, I couldnt tell.
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It was like this sometimes, and I felt I should look away, but I couldnt. I wanted to be there, having my face touched, defeating a heart like Peters, but the next best thing was seeing it for Tiger Lily.
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Its the injustice that I hate, more than anything, hed said to Smee one night, his eyes red and glassy, slurring his words, his head lolling as he tried to focus. Hed vomited, and then promptly passed out on a bush. I hate the world that does not work out fair.
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To not do what you can to protect someone, thats cowardly.
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He tousled Babys hair, then looked up at Tiger Lily. The woods have rules. He put Baby down gingerly in his trough with his bottle. But the rules are ugly.Its nature, she said, thoughtfully.I have a lot of disagreements with nature, he said, looking confused, and his downy brow wrinkled over his eyes.
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“Peter sank. Id give anything to see time.”
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