I want to back up to this whole caring about me thing,” he said, surprising me as he made his way back to the canvas. “I know you care about me, Mallory.”My heart started beating fast as he shook the can.“I care about you.” He knelt halfway down. A second passed and he moved his arm, spraying on the canvas. “And I think this was missing something.”Having no idea what he was doing or where he was going with this, I waited until he rose and stepped back, to the side. My lips parted on a soft gasp. Rider had spray-painted a heart between our names. I saw it with my own
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My brain must have felt sorry for me, so it’d created the only type of guy I could touch—a fantasy one.
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People are assholes, Mouse. You already know that.” He paused as he scooped some of my hair back, gently tossing the strands over my shoulder. “And there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”I glanced over at him. Everything about his steady gaze and the serious press of his lips screamed earnest. But he was wrong. “It is...embarrassing.”“Not if you don’t let it be.” His leg brushed mine as he turned in his seat, facing me. Our eyes met. “You have the power over that. People can say crap. They can think whatever they want, but you control how you feel about it.
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For eight years I’ve waited for you to realize that. I’ve waited for you to see yourself for who you really are. You’re Lily Marks, a beautiful, extremely clever woman whose capacity for compassion sets you apart from the Nephilim. It’s not your fighting skills or how good of a warrior you are. It’s the fact you look at me and see a man rather than a Fallen.” -Julian
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Because I know what I feel in here. And Im not the type of person to run from anything, no matter how hard it is. Id rather face-plant against a brick wall than live for the rest of my life wondering what couldve been. And you know what? I didnt think you were that type to run, either. Maybe I was wrong.
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What kind of motel sells condoms? My favorite kind of motel?
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I...I haven’t done a lot of this.” His cheeks flushed pink and my eyes widened. “I mean, I’ve done some stuff, but not a lot. I haven’t...had sex.”For the longest moment I couldn’t respond. All I could do was stare at him. “You’re a virgin?”One side of his lips kicked up. “Yeah. You sound surprised.”“I am. I thought... I don’t know. You were with...Paige. I just assumed you had sex before.”“That would be a negative,” he replied, picking up my hand. “You’re looking at me like you don’t understand how it’s possible.”He could really read minds.“It’s gotten close, but I just never— I haven’t wanted to go that far.” He shrugged a bare shoulder.“I haven’t done it, either,” I blurted out. “I mean, that’s super obvious since...you’re the first boy I’ve kissed, but yeah, I don’t even know...what I’m saying and I’m just going to shut up.”Rider chuckled. “Don’t. I love it when you ramble.”“Only you would enjoy that.” I curled my fingers through his. “Do you want to...go that far with me?”His lashes swept up and his eyes, with their greenish flecks, met mine. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. Someday.”Warmth swept across my cheeks as I whispered, “I...I want that, too. Someday.”The dimple in his right cheek appeared. “Then we’re on the same page.
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I don’t know how we made it to the bed or if the water was ever turned off in the shower. But we were together, our bodies slippery, our wet hair soaking the sheets we were tangled in. And then we were tangled, our legs and arms. His hands were everywhere, paying reverence to the many scars on my body. His lips followed, and I grew reacquainted with the hard muscles of his stomach, the feel of him.
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It was me who had to carry myself over the finish line, and all I needed to remember when I felt like not trying was that that feeling wouldnt last forever.
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My chest clenched as I looked down at the oil-stained asphalt. Here but not. Existing but not living. I knew that feeling. Lived it for several years. Some days it felt like I was still wearing that feeling like a heavy jacket buttoned up too tightly.
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The past never went away and it was not designed to do so. It would always be there, and it should be acknowledged.
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This is everyones fight. Becauseits everyones future.
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I promise you that this isnt going to be our future, Kitten. I will give that to you—a normal life.Her eyes glistened. I don’t expect a normal life. I just expect a life with you
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And I learned that sometimes when someone says something so devastatingly perfect, there isnt a need for a response. The words said it all.
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Hope that had sparked in my chest now lit a fire, and I fanned it, wanting it to burn hot and bright, because hope… hope was not the enemy. It was a friend, a savior. Hope was more than a new beginning. Hope was tomorrow, and hope was the symbol that I would get better, that I would undo the bad choices that I’d made, and that I would never make them again. Hope was more than a chance of redemption. It was the promise of one day finding absolution, of forgiving my
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You really shouldn’t trust a soul in this game. Not when everyone has something to gain or lose.
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You must stay away from the one who brings nothing but heartache and death. Do you hear me? He brings nothing but death. Always has.
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You make me wish I had a soul so I could be worthy of you.
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Because youre beautiful, Layla, and while I may say that one word to you a lot, I dont simply toss it around. And Ive seen many, many beautiful things. People as beautiful as demons are atrocious. You, by far, shine brighter than any of them. Its more than whats on the outside. It comes from within you. Ive seen a lot of things and nothing, nothing, comes close to you.
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It was just a kiss and it was nearly too much and it still wasnt enough, and it was just beautiful.
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