Quotes by Greg Behrendt

Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)

The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.

..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately hes just not that into you.

He doesnt need to be reminded youre great.

He doesn’t have to love your CD collection. He doesn’t have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family—especially when they’re great.

First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until youre married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they dont need a girlfriend

We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not theone.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.

A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.

Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.

You are not easily forgotten.

Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.

Ive never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.

I think probably - I think, you know, when youre first dating somebody, if theyre just not that physical with you, if they dont want to make concrete plans with you, you know, if theyre sort of ambiguous about where everything is going, I think thats a pretty good sign that theyre not into you.

I do think that you can dress yourself out of a problem. The way that a haircut and a new pair of pants can make you feel is better than any therapist, because when you look in the mirror, you see a different person - you are a different person. Its superficial change that can lead to real change.

“Im about to make a wild, extreme and severe relationship rule: the word busy is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word busy is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact in every silo you uncover, all youre going to find is a man who didnt care enough to call. Remember men are never to busy to get what they want.”

“Heres something else to think about: calling when you say youre going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he cant lay this one stupid brick down, you aint never gonna have a house baby, and its cold outside.”

“Let’s start with this statistic: You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly believe that the only way you can find out that there’s something better out there is to first believe there’s something better out there. What other choice is there?”

“Were taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume youre the rule, not the exception. Its liberating. But we also know its not an easy concept. -Hes not just into you”

“Women always have and always will continue to date a mans potential instead of his reality. We cant help ourselves. Its in a womans nature to be hopeful and to see the possibilities, the greatness that people possess. Hooray for us; arent we lovely. We are, but dating someones potential is probably the biggest mistake women make in relationships and certainly the one that leads to our romantic downfall. Thats because there are three types of men: the ones that find our faith in their potential to be appealing, the ones that find our faith in their potential to be a burden...and the ones that find it appealing at first, then are crushed by the burden of their unreached potential and resentful of the women they once adored for that very faith.”

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.”