Quotes by Dorothy Parker

Where unwilling dies the rose Buds the new another year.

Poisons pain you Rivers are damp Acid stains you And drugs cause cramp. Guns arent lawful Nooses give Gas smells awful You might as well live.

It cost me never a stab nor squirm To tread by chance upon a worm. Aha my little dear I say Your clan will pay me back one day.

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires.

Men seldom make passes At girls who wear glasses.

Scratch a lover and find a foe.

Lips that taste of tears they say are the best for kissing.

Women and elephants never forget.

He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.

Wheres the man could ease the heart Like a satin gown?

I dont know much about being a millionaire but Ill bet Id be darling at it.

There was never a place for her in the ranks of the terrible slow army of the cautious. She ran ahead where there were no paths.

I shall stay the way I am Because I do not give a damn.

Wit has truth in it wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are cheque enclosed.

Work is the province of cattle.

“Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.”

“It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.”

“I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.”

“I wont telephone him. Ill never telephone him again as long as I live. Hell rot in hell, before Ill call him up. You dont have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows Im waiting here. Hes so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.”