Quotes by Don Marquis

“One of the most important things to remember about infant care is: dont change diapers in midstream.”

“An idea isnt responsible for the people who believe in it.”

“Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.”

“Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.”

“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.”

“prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into”

“Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint”

“Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates.”

“A hypocrite is a person who - but who isnt?”

“I have many regrets, and Im sure everyone does. The stupid things you do, you regret… if you have any sense, and if you dont regret them, maybe youre stupid.”

From the lesson of the moth:and before i could argue himout of his philosophyhe went and immolated himselfon a patent cigar lighteri do not agree with himmyself i would rather havehalf the happiness and twicethe longevitybut at the same time i wishthere was something i wantedas badly as he wanted to fry himself

a spider and a flyi heard a spiderand a fly arguingwait said the flydo not eat mei serve a great purposein the worldyou will have toshow me said the spideri scurry aroundgutters and sewersand garbage canssaid the fly and gatherup the germs oftyphoid influenzaand pneumonia on my feetand wingsthen i carry these germsinto households of menand give them diseasesall the people whohave lived the rightsort of life recoverfrom the diseasesand the old soaks whohave weakened their systemswith liquor and iniquitysuccumb it is my missionto help rid the worldof these wicked personsi am a vessel of righteousnessscattering seeds of justiceand serving the noblest usesit is true said the spiderthat you are moreuseful in a ploddingmaterial sort of waythan i am but i do notserve the utilitarian deitiesi serve the gods of beautylook at the gossamer websi weave they float in the sunlike filaments of songif you get what i meani do not work at anythingi play all the timei am busy with the stuffof enchantment and the materialsof fairyland my workstranscend utilityi am the artista creator and demi godit is ridiculous to supposethat i should be deniedthe food i need in orderto continue to createbeauty i tell youplainly mister fly it is alldamned nonsense for that foodto rear up on its hind legsand say it should not be eatenyou have convinced mesaid the fly say no moreand shutting all his eyeshe prepared himself for dinnerand yet he said i couldhave made out a casefor myself too if i hadhad a better line of talkof course you could said the spiderclutching a sirloin from himbut the end would have beenjust the same if neither ofus had spoken at allboss i am afraid that whatthe spider said is trueand it gives me to thinkfuriously upon the futilityof literaturearchy

Publishing a book of poetry is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.

i have had my ups and downsbut wotthehell wotthehellyesterday sceptres and crownsfried oysters and velvet gownsand today i herd with bumsbut wotthehell wotthehelli wake the world from sleepas i caper and sing and leapwhen i sing my wild free tunewotthehell wotthehellunder the blear eyed mooni am pelted with cast off shoonbut wotthehell wotthehell

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing thats read by persons who move their lips when theyre reading to themselves.

With regard to ghosts, while we have never believed in them, we have always been afraid of them.

fire is beautifuland we know that if we gettoo close it will kill usbut what does that matterit is better to be happy for a momentand be burned up with beautythan to live a long timeand be bored all the while

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: Whose?

Every honorable man is forced to yield to blackmail once or twice in his life, just for the sake of keeping peace in the community.

If a child shows himself to be incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate his kind.