Quotes by David Eddings

Mountains could be what happens when Father Earth eats something that doesn’t agree with him. When he burps, mountains pop up.That’s absurd, Keselo said, trying not to laugh.If you’ve got a better theory, I’d be happy to hear it, Red-Beard said mildly. Anyway, a burp isn’t anything but air that boils up out of a man’s stomach, so Father Earth’s mountains have chunks of empty air in the middle of them—burps that didn’t quite manage to make it to the surface, you understand.

What am I going to do? asked CeNedra.First you ought to go wash your face, Polgara told her. Some girls can cry without making themselves ugly, but you dont have the right coloring for it. Youre an absolute fright. Id advise you never to cry in public if you can help it.

Youve been away from home too long if you can get lost on the way from the harbor to the palace.

As long as people are talking instead of fighting, nobody loses very much blood—unless he happens to bite his tongue.

—I can make Skell laugh if I really have to, but I have to take off one of his boots first.—That went by just a little fast, Torl.—It’s terribly hard to tickle the bottom of a man’s foot when he’s wearing boots, commander.

Youre going to keep making these mistakes as long as you keep carrying your brain in the same scabbard with your sword, Lelldorin.

Young people, however, tend to ignore the customs of their elders. Adolescent rebellion has been responsible for all manner of absurd costumes. The more ridiculous a certain fashion is, the more adolescents will cling to it.

Well, its nice to know that the Trolls made it this far south, Ulath said. Id hate to have to go looking for them.Their Gods were guiding them, Ulath, Tynian pointed out.Youve never talked with the Troll-Gods, I see, Ulath laughed. Their sense of direction is a little vague - probably because their compass only has two directions on it.Oh?North and not-north. It makes finding places a little difficult.

Anyway, Arianna and I left the castle very late one evening. I knew the knight on guard at the drawbridge so I hit hit him over the head because I didnt want to hurt him.Garion blinked.I knew hed be honor-bound to try to stop us, Lelldorin explained. I didnt want to have to kill him, so I hit him over the head.I suppose that makes sense, Garion said dubiously.Ariannas almost positive he wont die.DIE?I hit him just a little too hard, I think.

The coronation took place at noon the following day. The Hall of the Rivan King was full to overflowing with nobles and royalty, and the city below was alive with the sound of bells. Garion could not actually remember very much of his coronation. He did remember that the ermine-bordered cape was hot and the plain gold crown the Rivan Deacon placed on his head was very heavy

Your--ah--intervention, shall we say, has simplified things in the palace enormously. We no longer have to worry about Salmissras whims and peculiar appetites. We rule by committee, and we hardly ever find it necessary to poison each other anymore. No ones tried to poison me for months.

The queen sighed. What am I going to do with all of you now! Youre going to let us continue our journey, Belgarath replied calmly. Well argue about it, of course, but in the end thats the way itll turn out.She stared at him. You did ask, after all. Im sure you feel better now that you know.

Youre impossible, she told him. Of course I am, he answered. Its part of my charm.

Some day, Prince Kheldar, you will fall in love, the queen said with a little smirk, and the twelve kingdoms will stand around and chortle over the fall of so notorious a bachelor.

The priest DID have it coming, though, Lelldorin declared hotly.What priest?The priest of Chaldan at that little chapel who wouldnt marry us because Arianna couldnt give him a document proving she had her familys consent. He was very insulting.Did you break anything?A few of his teeth is about all-- and I stopped hitting him as soon as he agreed to perform the ceremony.

Well--to put it briefly--Arianna and I had become--well--friends.I see.Nothing improper, you understand, Lelldorin said quickly. But our friendship was such that--well--we didnt want to be separated. The young Asturians face appealed to his friend for understanding. Actually, he went on, it was a little more than didnt want to. Arianna told me shed die if I left her behind.Possibly she was exaggerating, Garion suggested.How could I risk it, though? Lelldorin protested. Women are much more delicate than we are-- besides, Ariannas a physician. Shed know if shed die, wouldnt she?

The unfortunate thing about working for yourself is that you have the worst boss in the world. I work every day of the year except at Christmas, when I work a half day.

I wrote a novel for my degree, and Im very happy I didnt submit that to a publisher. I sympathize with my professors who had to read it.

I get up at an unholy hour in the morning my work day is completed by the time the sun rises. I have a slightly bad back which has made an enormous contribution to American literature.

“Life without any wonder left in it is flat and stale.”