Quotes by Dan Castellaneta

“I wont lie to you, fatherhood isnt easy like motherhood”

“Do you want the job done right, or do you want it done fast?”

“I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when Im around!”

“Lord help me, Im just not that bright.”

“Let us all bask in televisions warm glowing warming glow.”

“Lets just plop them in front of the TV. I was raised in front of the TV and I turned out TV”

“I cant believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!”

“All right, lets not panic. Ill make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.”

“Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.”

“I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.”

“Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boys piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close.”

“Dont eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.”

“It [YVAN EHT NIOJ] doesnt mean anything! Its like ramalamadingdong or give peace a chance!”

“Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.”

“Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesnt get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesnt get to go to college.”

“This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.”

“If they think Im going to stop at that stop sign, theyre sadly mistaken!”

“It is better to watch things then to do them.”

“Oh, so they have internet on computers now!”

“And theres nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned.”